twisty ride

2009-12-27T11:05:00.001-08:00

Christmas has come and gone. The New Year is days away.

I honestly cannot remember a year that has gone by as quickly as this one. I still remember very vividly standing on top of the hill watching the fireworks light up the night sky and thinking quietly to myself that this year would be an AWESOME year.

353 days later, I have to say it has been quite a ride. I've experienced many new things, made many new friends, fell in love.

She's sweet, beautiful, smart and caring. She wears slippers in the house and she's freakishly strong for someone her size. She loves her family to bits, and she has an amazing laugh.

I have not felt this way about a person in such a long time and it's all so surreal. She's the first person I think of when I wake up and the last one before I go to sleep.

Corny, no?

I can't help it.

It's only been a little over 4 months since I met you in that very dark and loud place. Haha. Who would've thought? I know I didn't.

I just know that I'm happy, and you're a big part of it.

Thank you.

2009-10-17T11:26:00.001-07:00

"It's strange. At least I find it strange.
How some people known that we've known for the longest time suddenly become people we don't know. Strangers. The longer we've known them, the more incomprehensible they seem. Conversations that once could flow faster than thought could formulate, now becomes stilted. Paused. Filled with heavy silences and awkwardness.
Stranger still.
How sometimes people who aren't part of our social circle, heck who have never been part of any aspect of our lives suddenly become those we can talk to most freely with.
There isn't a need to know them because they just feel very comfortable to converse with. It doesn't matter who they are, where they come from. They're there and they can relate to whatever thats going on in your head at the moment.

Strangest of all.
How it takes the utmost effort to speak of the blandest of topics to those who have known you for an age. How an unfamiliar face could hold your attention and the conversation for hours effortlessly, having met you only that once.

And.

How much effort a person makes to fill in the blanks for those who have known them the longest. How much effort it doesn't take to speak your mind, your heart to someone you've known for barely a few minutes.

Strange. Strange how those who have known you for years, still don't see. And yet, those who know you for minutes see it quite clearly.
Strange, indeed." – Anonymous

2009-09-03T06:17:00.001-07:00

I had an unpleasant experience last weekend. Yes, there was the partying, the boozing, and the gambling.

But, I was also stopped by the police at a roadblock. Road block? Hmmm, people are calling it something else nowadays. What was it eh?

Oh yes I remember now. COLLECTION CENTERS FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT!

We got pulled over at one of those because the cop put his head into the car, sniffed around like the damn dog he is, and thought we were intoxicated and that driving was beyond our capabilities. Given, we shouldn't have been driving after we drank, but everyone was sober.

Out of his pocket came a breathalyzer (I always thought of it to look more like a bong, I don't know why). At that very moment, I knew we were in trouble. Haha. There was no way you were going to be able to cheat a breathalyzer after you've been drinking all night. *The legal limit for drinking is 80mg of alcohol in 100ml of blood. I've been told that you'll go over the limit even after a can of beer.

So, the driver blew into the thing, the limit went off the charts, and he was asked to come out of the car where he was then brought over to the police car. I wasn't there but from the dictation of the driver, the conversation went something like this.

"so sekarang macamana bang?"

"Seribu ada?"

"tak ada. Seratus sahaja"

"tengok you punya rambut, macam ini boleh terus masuk penjara sg. Buloh" *driver was a bald dude

"dua ratus boleh?"

"ok"

He then proceeds to walk over the car to ask if we have anymore cash but we emptied our wallets the first time around. So he walked into the bank which was right next to where we were parked to withdraw some cash to pay the cops. See how smart they are? They set up a road block right next to a bank where one can conveniently go in and withdraw money in the case that they didn't have enough. Pretty genius, eh?

We paid and then we left.

I couldn't help but notice that all the people getting pulled over were Chinese. The 2 Indian dudes in the backseat commented,

"Macha, I'm sorry, macha. But Chinese people have money. If it were the both of us, they wouldn't bother".

Ahhh. 1 Malaysia? What 1 Malaysia?

Geez.

2009-08-26T07:30:00.001-07:00

I don't see the point of going to see you. You're supposed to be my supervisor but you're not doing anything of that sort. Why the heck did you have to go put up titles if you're not interested in guiding people? Go fuck yourself, really.

2009-08-20T09:46:00.001-07:00

"I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too… but I'll never know." -Unknown

2009-08-16T08:08:00.001-07:00

Of drunken hookups and smoking up, the past week has been, wait for it, LEGENDARY! I cannot remember having a one week break with as many fun happenings as this one.

Getting paid money to enjoy myself seems to top the list. I had the opportunity to facilitate for a team building event over the week and it has been a real eye opener for me. I liked it so much it's got me thinking that I want to do that when I actually graduate. Being around people and helping them learn leaves you feeling fulfilled. Teaching a future career path for me? I'll have plenty of time to ponder over the next couple of months. It's going to be one heck of a semester with the workload and everything else I've signed up for, but with god's grace, I think I'll pull through.

What's the big deal about convocations anyway? You sit in a hall for 5 hours and freeze to death, only to go up on stage to collect a scroll which isn't actually a scroll. Go figure.

Gary Leon Robert 1987-2009

2009-08-09T22:55:00.001-07:00

I may not have had the opportunity to get to know you as well as the others, but the brief moments that we crossed paths in university were always highlighted by the ever present smile on your face. That small gesture showed your enormous personality and you will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace my friend. Till we meet again.

2009-06-28T23:20:00.001-07:00

"I don't really believe in regrets. All my experiences, even the ones that didn't turn out the way I wanted them to, I firmly believe they were all worth it." – Anonymous

2009-05-25T08:58:00.001-07:00

As you stood at the door and smiled when you saw me, it felt as though nothing had changed. Not the fact that we've barely spoken to each other in almost 2 years, and not the fact that you're happily dating someone else now.

Walking through those hallways brought back a wave of nostalgia. Times that I sorely miss right now. Sigh.

Is this just me taking a walk down memory lane? Or am I just not over you yet?

2009-05-21T06:36:00.001-07:00

I lost a piece of me today. Sigh. It served me well for so many years. Many memories created. Both happy and sad. Sigh. It's hard to just see it sent to its death like that.

This feels like and ending of one chapter of my life. The car's gone. I'm leaving for Pantai Remis soon. I'm turning 22 in a week. I don't like growing older.

Anyways, 6 free throws in a row today. A personal best no doubt. Got to keep improving.

2009-04-20T07:08:00.001-07:00

'It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change'-Charles Darwin

Enough complaining. Adapt, adapt, adapt.

2009-04-20T07:06:00.001-07:00

It's been 2 weeks since I started work. Half of which I spent in bed from suspected meningitis. I'm without a doubt the most productive worker they've ever hired. Haha. But thank god I got well without needing to get admitted into the hospital.

Work has been hectic thus far. I leave for work at 6ish before the sun is up, and I usually get home close to 8. Just as the sun goes out of sight. Can't be bothered to type everything I've learnt here (that's what the logbook is for) but I've learnt my fair share. The most important being safety at the workplace. One of the highlights so far has been working till 11ish at night. The plant was undergoing major maintenance and the regional manufacturing director was going to be visiting the site the next day to evaluate the place. Work ran from 8 in the morning till 11 at night. That was a long hard day.

Everyone has been nothing but friendly to me. But that doesn't mean I can stop being on my toes. Everyone around here knows my mum, and you know how these things go. If I mess up, I'm sure she'll find out eventually. Haha. I really don't want to embarrass her.

That's about it for work. It IS only the first 2 weeks. Haha. I'll be going to Pantai Remis only in mid May but I'm actually relishing the thought of going now. Funny isn't it? Haha.

The past weekend was spent on a road trip down to Malacca to visit a dear friend of mine. I could tell we brightened his weekend. Hehe. The itinerary for the trip? EAT EAT EAT! Haha. I've never had so much good food in one go. It didn't come cheap though. But it was worth it. The tummy was tickled well.

Books I've read thus far:

Ps I love you- I loved the story. Such a heartwarming tale about love. The story is eerie in a way if you look at it. Letters from beyond. Haha. But somehow or rather Cecelia Ahern did such a good job with it. Romanticizing something like that is no easy feat and she pulled it off so well. I hope that didn't make me sound toooooo bimbo-ish. Haha.

Twilight (in the midst of reading it)- From what I've read so far, I feel that the movie I've watched a million times does the book no justice. Stephanie Meyer paints such a detailed picture of the town and everything in it; it's hard to not feel, as corny as this may sound, in the book. Haha. I think the book can only get better as I go further into it.

I'm off to continue my reading.

2009-04-01T00:15:00.001-07:00

'Hoping is half-assed
just like hopping is one-legged

Stand
or leap
with all you have.' – Unknown

2009-03-30T22:00:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be honest here. The mind ran circles when you said you wanted to talk to me about something. The last time I felt this uncomfortable was 5 months ago.

Was this all just my overbearing imagination taking over?

I don't know why, but I'm no fan of confrontation. Maybe it's because I don't have the guts to do it. Haha.

I sure do have a newfound sense of respect for you. You handled the situation with such aplomb and I'm glad that you worked everything out.

This proves one thing. Even the toughest of situations can be solved with a little diplomacy.

2009-03-29T13:21:00.001-07:00

Spontaneity is the spice of life.

I've come to realize that the fun-nest moments in life are the ones that you don't plan for. Decisions that you make at the spur of the moment often lead you on an unexpected adventure. Char Tang Hoon. Police road blocks. Detours. A car full of transvestites. Car-aoke, and lots of laughter.

Its times like these where you sit back and smile to yourself with a quiet sense of satisfaction.

Life is good.

2009-03-27T03:10:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt.

You may say that's taking a very defeatist attitude towards things. But I've learnt the hard way. Not once, but countless times. Sometimes, you just don't get what you want.

At the end of the day, just remind yourself that you did your best. It just didn't work out. Looking back, I've had my fair share of things not going my way. I sometimes wonder if I had done things a little differently, would it have affected the outcome. But I've come to realize that what's done is done. It was a good ride. So take the good, and leave behind the rest.

The exams are sort of over. Hehe. I've had such a hectic semester and I'm relieved that it's almost over. It's time to break out the bubbly and celebrate! That is until I pack my bags and leave for the fishing village I've been going on and on about in approximately 9 days.

One stage of the MUDS will be held in UNITEN! Hehe. And I'm glad I played a part in getting it here. When I get home, I'm going to dust out my gear and I'm going to start training. Oooo I'm so excited.

I'm off.

2009-03-19T11:27:00.001-07:00

So. Digging. My. Own. Grave.

2009-03-16T19:32:00.001-07:00

Don't you just hate it when you wake up from a dream so vivid, you thought it was real?

2009-03-12T21:25:00.001-07:00

When you meet somebody you care about, it's hard to walk away.

2009-03-10T07:24:00.001-07:00

I just watched Twilight for like the 5^th time. There's just something about corny love stories that make you go all warm and fuzzy in the end. EVEN if it makes no sense at all.

"I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." – Edward Cullen

I still have the audacity to procrastinate even though I'm so behind in my work. God bless my soul.

2009-03-09T19:31:00.001-07:00

It's amazing that even after so long you're still able to push all the right buttons.

But unfortunately for me, not everyone gets their happy endings do they?

Sigh.

2009-03-06T08:43:00.001-08:00

The news of us coming in 2^nd in the recent intervarsity engineering challenge is now a thing of the past. Our 15 minutes of fame has finally blown over. But it was fun while it lasted. The highlight of the week was definitely being invited to the launching of a new competition. The deputy dean was so happy with our achievement that he was telling everyone at the launch about it. When someone else blows your horn it sounds a hundred times louder right? Hehe. I'm just itching for another competition to take part in. There are a few big ones on the calendar but those are mostly paper writing competitions. Oh well, we'll see how it goes. If i have the time I just might do it.

The week flew by in a jiffy. The workload is piling up and I've been doing nothing but procrastinating. This semester is without a doubt the most hectic one I've had. But it'll all be over soon.

Everyone has found an industrial training placement already!

A month from today, I'll be packing my bags, and going to a quaint little fishing village slightly south of Ipoh for my industrial training stint. If you're wondering where the place is, let me tell you, it's so small that there is NO information about it on the World Wide Web!

OH. MY. GOD.

I don't normally look at the cup as half full, but I think time has changed me. It's only going to be for 6 weeks. The other 6 weeks I'll be back here in KL. Being away from home for 6 weeks. How bad can it be, right?

Why do we want the most what we can't have?

Google answers.

IVEC 2009

2009-03-01T17:12:00.000-08:00

I'm too lazy to write about what happened over the weekend. So, here's the shortest version possible.

2nd runner up

14/2/2009

2009-02-21T09:09:00.001-08:00

Another week has gone by. The activities of last week still remain fresh in my mind.

Last week happened to be the week of love. What with Valentine's Day and all. This was a day for restaurants and florists to charge exorbitant prices for their services. A day where people like me (read: single) sit at home and feel sorry for themselves, wondering what went wrong.

This year, I did nothing of that sort.

I had my closest friends for company, and we celebrated the night with each other's company. Before the night began, I got a text saying there were surprises for everyone. Hmmmm. Surprises, you say?

That got me a little excited. Oh heck, I'm not going to lie. I was ecstatic. My mind wandered off to a happy place. Dreaming, hoping that the surprise would be pretty girls wrapped up in nothing but ribbons. But alas, it wasn't meant to be.

On the way out, i shared this interesting piece of news with A. I told him about the surprises that were in store for us.

'You've known them so long. You think they're that nice?'- A

My spirits dropped. There was an ounce of truth there. What was I thinking? We weren't talking about mother Theresa here. These were the 3 sisters. The last time I heard of 3 sisters was in Charmed (some old TV series). 3 witches. Beautiful. Dangerous. Same scenario here. One must never underestimate a girl and her posse. I'll save what they gave us for later.

We eventually found the place we were looking for. A restaurant aptly named Lala Chong for its seafood fare. The food was good, and it was priced reasonably.

After dinner, we moved on to Waikiki Bar. The cheery atmosphere of the live band was a welcome change from the late nights dancing and sweating to the sounds of some foreign deejay. We ordered a round of beers and just sat and enjoyed the music. A little while later and it was the moment i had been waiting for all night. It was time for presents!

I think by now everyone has established that it wasn't going to be pretty girls wrapped in nothing but ribbons. But it still was going to be a surprise. They pulled out a bag filled with colourfully wrapped presents. Ooooo.

I wasn't moping at home on Valentine's Day and I'm getting presents? Pinch me already!

Everyone gleefully accepted their presents and pulled the wrapping off like children on Christmas morning. What was in the packages beautifully wrapped in jelly bean wrapping paper? It consisted of things that were supposed to remind us of them. Them being the 3 sisters.

An Easter egg. Or something of that sort.
Chocolate eggs.
A packet of instant mushroom soup.
Hershey kisses
Last but not least, Belgian chocolate flavoured condom

Save for the condom that is. That was supposed to be for if we got lucky that night. You girls thought of us that highly? I'm flattered :P

We ended the night blasting the heads of zombies and running each over with 1000cc motorbikes.

A night to remember?

Definitely.

2009-02-21T08:31:00.001-08:00

You walked into the room

I couldn't help but stare

Something stirred

I felt nothing but despair

I felt boxed in, caged, trapped

I started feeling edgy

You saw right through me

And before I knew it

You got up to leave

Part of me wanted to see you go

Another part of me couldn't let go

It sucks to be me

Little by little – Oasis

2009-02-15T05:53:00.001-08:00

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Have fun!

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Make you my baby – 911 (I just might. Let's see if anyone asks me this tomorrow. Hehe.)

2) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Picture to burn – Taylor Swift (WTFKNNCCB?! You'll pay for this BEAN! :P)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Makeover – David Cook

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Born for this – Paramore (So full of optimism. I like.)

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Nothing else matters – Metallica (Contrary to popular belief, I am no longer the emo kid I was last year. Would have been funny if I did this last year wouldn't it?)

6) WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Shattered dreams – Johnny Hates Jazz

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Lollipop – Lil Wayne (Sweet, colourful, and bad for your health?)

8) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Love spreads – Stone Roses

9) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
He ain't the leaving kind - Rascal Flatts

10) WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Love song- Cure

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Saturday afternoon – Hazel

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
The way I are – Timbaland ft. Keri Wilson & D.O.E.

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Lovebug – Jonas Brothers (No, no. I want to be rich and famous. Just like the pussycat dolls. OR the pussycat boys? WAKAKAKAKAKAKA)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Love is gone – David Guetta (This one cracked me up. Haha. Those of you in the know should get this. Haha)

15) WHAT WILL/DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Bottle it up - Sara Bareilles

16) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Shout – Tears for fears *click for lyrics (I really don't know how to explain this. Read the lyrics and figure it out for yourself.)

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Place in the sun – Brisa (All the talk about me getting a tan. Hmmmmm.)

18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Far away- Nickelback (Yes, I fear being far away from the people I love. So true.)

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Follow you home – Nickelback (There ARE a few people I would like to follow home. Again. So true. I'm starting to worry that Winamp might have a life of its own.)

20) WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Panic attack – Unkle (Wtf?!)

21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Goodbye my friend – Spice Girls (So not true. I love all of you to bits. Even more so after yesterday. Haha.)

22) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Little by little – Oasis

I've been reading countless meme's on Facebook and even got tagged in a few. I thought it was hilarious but I never thought I'd actually do it. But after a gentle shove from Bendy, I caved and did it.

I can't bother commenting on some of the songs as they are so wtf.

I haven't heard about half the songs. Haha. Don't ask me why I have so much music on my playlist. Most of the time I just download them and never get round to listening. Hehe. But it sure made the meme that much more interesting didn't it?

So whoever reads this, try it out yourself and have a few good laughs. I know I did.

2009-02-12T03:08:00.001-08:00

It was 4 in the morning. Everyone in the house was far away in dream land. Blissfully asleep. I on the other hand, was flustered. I had been rolling around in bed for a good 2 hours. I decided that I wasn't gonna waste another minute lying in bed doing nothing. All this alertness had to be put to good use.

I slowly opened my squeaky room door as I crept out in to the hall. What was I going to do?

Something on the computer table caught my eye. The god forsaken Rubik's cube. A 3D mechanical puzzle created by a person called Erno Rubik. On first look, it looked like EMO Rubik to me. It stared at me from the desk, silently taunting me in the process. I had spent an hour in the morning trying to figure it out. And god knows how many hours in university trying in vain to solve it. What made it more frustrating was that quite a number of people had figured it out.

Doing what any normal person would do, I decided the best course of action would be to log on to the World Wide Web and GOOGLE the solution (I don't know what took me this long to do it). Haha. I spent a half hour watching an online how-to video and at the end of that, VOILA, I managed to solve it! I was ecstatic. But unfortunately for me, there was no one there I could share it with. So I went to bed with a silent satisfaction, eager to share my achievement with people the very next morning.

It has been an excellent week for me. E's birthday at Bar Savanh was without a doubt the most fun I have had in ages. The company was the best. AND I did something I've never done before. All I could say was that I was pleasantly surprised.

It was W's place the very next day. I've never been into a gambling den before, but I can safely say now that I have an idea of what it's going to be like. Hehe. No offense, Bendy :P One blackjack/baccarat table. One poker table. And one ginrummy table. You were a great host, Bendy. I had fun even though my head was throbbing most of the time. Hehe.

MOS tonight. We're going to partay!

2009-02-03T06:38:00.001-08:00

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

That was what I did throughout the holidays. Literally. Save for the last part. Haha. I'm still here typing this aren't I?

Chinese New Year has never been such a fun affair before. It's usually a mundane affair. Me sitting in front of the computer, desperately seeking people to cyber chat with out of sheer boredom in the Pearl of the Orient. This year however was different. Dad couldn't get out of work so we came back on the 2^nd day of CNY.

Little did I know what was in store for the whole week.

it was gambling/drinking session every night! N's place, R's place, M's place, SK's place, and if I remember correctly, W said she was going to have one this coming weekend. Oooo. The fun.

No, staying up till 6 every day is not good for your health. Neither is drinking or gambling all your money away. But it sure is fun.

I learnt one thing over the course of all the open houses. Gambling. Not so much my forte. Once I start winning, greed overwhelms me. And more often than not, that is what leads to you losing your pants. Haha.

I manage to break even this time. Who knows if I will be as lucky the next.

Sneakers were having a blowout sale and I got a pair of SUPERSTARS! Finally! After so long of wanting one, I managed find one I liked. Get a load of this. The shoes are made out of recyclable items. How cool is that!? Click HERE to find out more about the pair I got. All that talk about sustainability and being eco friendly in class has had an impact on me. I'll be sporting eco friendly sneakers now! Uber cool, no? :P

The week finally came to an end. There's still another 7 days before Chinese New Year is over. Another weekend of partying. I so can't wait!

To all my friends, and by friends I mean those who actually read this, I want to thank all of you for being my wonderful friends over the course of the year. The ups and downs that you've shared with me are moments that I will cherish. I love all of you.

2009-01-30T11:47:00.001-08:00

This is the time where families reunite

And the colours of sparklers fill the night

Where would we be if not here

With the ones we hold most dear

Yeah, it blows.

2009-01-15T04:48:00.001-08:00

'Dear Joshua,

With reference to your recent interview, we were pleased to have had the opportunity of speaking to you.

Following your interview we have reviewed your application and we regret…..'

I stopped reading when I saw that. No point going any further. Haha. It was a good experience and I'm thankful for that.

I learnt something today. Not something new, but it did set in stone certain things I didn't want to believe. I have to say, it stings. But it stings a little less this time around. But now, it's all laid out for me. I can choose to stand around and mope, or I can man up and just, move on.

Closure? I think this is it.

It's always darkest before dawn, they say. I'm going to keep my spirits up and put a smile on my face.

P/s: You're not a UPOS. A late bloomer, maybe. You know I love you. So, chill.

2009-01-14T06:29:00.001-08:00

I was sitting at the coffee shop earlier this afternoon for lunch. I saw a grown man; a strong, hardened man, go all soft inside when he saw a cute little baby.

That put a smile on my face. We're genetically hardwired to like little kids, babies especially.

A week back, I was talking to a friend of mine. What she said baffled me. 'I don't like kids. Don't plan on having them either'.

Maybe it's just me. But I thought girls dreamt of getting married and having kids ever since they were 2 feet tall. Haha. I'm not a sexist. Neither am I a male chauvinist pig who thinks women should be kept at home as baby making machines.

I really don't know why I'm writing all this.

It's been a long day. 2 tests. 2 more this coming Friday. Strength, discipline, determination, I need.

2009-01-09T22:04:00.001-08:00

Before this turns into another self absorbed, whiny post, here's some world news.

'US jobless rates hit 7.2%, a 16 year high'

Click on it if you want to read more.

Now to the whiny stuff,

Shit just keeps happening. One followed by the other. I haven't been able to catch a break. I woke up this morning feeling like a champ. Josh is gonna get the car fixed so he no longer feels like his balls have been chopped off.

And guess what happens next?

The car didn't want to start. When it did after 10 minutes of cursing, the key jammed in the key hole. Thus leaving me there with the engine running, and a gaping hole in the windshield.

I panicked.

How was I gonna turn off the darn engine?!

I sat there for a brief moment before it struck me. Just kill the engine (No, not literally). So I put the car in reverse, had my foot on the brake pedal, and released the clutch.

There, one problem solved. As I tried to jiggle the key out of the key hole, maybe jiggle is not the right word in this context, I was forcefully twisting it in the hope that it would come out. Oh and come out it did.

It came out in 2 pieces. One half was in my hand; the other was left behind in the key hole. Just my luck.

I was close to pulling all my hair out (I didn't if anybody was wondering, I don't do bald well).

Made a call to my mechanic next in the hope that he would be able to help me out. Nothing much I could do according to him. Find a locksmith to get the key out. And pray hard he finds a windshield for my car. It's obsolete so it will be hard to find. That's what he said.

I'm stuck writing all of this to vent in this god forsaken place. All alone in this 4 walls I call a home.

God, grant me patience and serenity. Please.

Shit snowballs.

2009-01-06T08:49:00.001-08:00

NaNoWriMo

I signed up for that a few nights back when I was having a heart to heart session with the bean (whom I managed to convince to join me in this craziness). Haha.

A resolution of mine this year is to finish whatever I start.

50,000 words? Easy peasy. Haha.

Bring on the new year.

2009-01-06T07:50:00.001-08:00

Shell, you say?

I was surprised when I got the call up for the interview. Really. I didn't think they would even have looked at my application. But by some weird twist of fate, they did, and I got the email.

It was really hard not to be excited. Like I said earlier, not everyone gets it.

The day arrived. After much cramming for the interview, I was there, sitting outside the building with N. I kept telling myself that I'm only there for the experience. But that doesn't stop me from hoping does it?

Someone once told me, 'If you don't hope or expect anything, you won't be disappointed'.

That statement could not have been any truer.

But then again, without hope, is there any point for living?

So here I am, hoping for the best. I should be able to know in about 5 days, max.

Hope with me.

2009-01-04T05:12:00.001-08:00

I'm in such a foul mood now I would scream at the pope if I met him.

Some retard decided it would be funny to make a hole in my windscreen. Doesn't the car look bad enough as it is? Why'd you have to go put a hole in the windshield?

The year could not have gotten off to a better start. I hope this is not a sign of things to come.

2009-01-04T05:10:00.001-08:00

The 40 minute hike up the hill paid off when the KL skyline lit up with beautiful fireworks. The short, shallow breaths of everyone turned into loud hoots and cheers. Clinking of beer bottles was heard. The New Year is here!

If I'm honest, it didn't feel any different. Yes, I was ushering in the new year with my closest friends (who luckily for me, decided that the fireworks were good enough not to roll me back down the hill), but I still felt something was missing. I was happy though that everyone was having fun. The huge smiles on everyone's faces while watching the colours in the sky cheered me up a little.

It was 8 days since we last talked, or acknowledged each other for that matter. I felt miserable. I couldn't bear the thought of her being mad at me. But deep down, there was this little rage that was growing. Maybe rage is too strong a word. Discontent. I think that fits the bill perfectly. I was discontented. I was accused of not giving a shit. When in fact, I did.

I pondered on what I needed to do on the first day of the New Year. Resolutions? I never seem to keep them. Housekeeping? I wasn't in the right mind to do it. All I wanted at that very moment was to just pick up the phone and call her. Thinking back of the previously unanswered calls deterred me. So I just sat in front of the PC, and stoned. Just when I thought that all was lost, the phone beeped, signalling a text. I picked it up, and to my surprise, it was a New Year greeting from her. She said it was the New Year; we had to work things out. If not now, then when, right?

I made dinner plans with her the very next day. If not for the interview with Shell the very next day, I would have drove over to her place immediately. It was good in a way. It didn't make me look too eager.

Fast forward 24 hours, and there I was waiting for her. When she got into the car, I gave her a flower that I bought. She broke into a huge smile. As corny as this sounds, I couldn't help but smile back. I was happy to see her happy. The night went by in a jiffy. We talked things over dinner. To put it as succinctly as possible, at the end of the evening, she was much happier. I couldn't say the same. I felt no different from before dinner. I can't be bothered to go into it now but I'm just glad that we're talking again. We said our goodbyes. And I took a slow drive home.

Upon reaching PJ, I made a call to the lamb. I was supposed to meet her for coffee. The call went like this.

'Hey, ready for coffee?'

'Erm, yea. You really don't want to go clubbing? It's your call though'

'I'm tired. I've been out all day'

'Oh ok la' *disappointed

'Aiya, since I'm dressed already, might as well. I feel like it too'

And the rest of the night was spent in Poppy. Great night out!

P/s: Thank you for the text that you sent that night. It really cheered me up. I felt REALLY LOVED! Know that I will do the same for you. Cheerio

2009-01-03T19:37:00.001-08:00

You woke me up from slumber,

With something dark and sombre,

And I couldn't help but wonder,

If things would get brighter.

2008-12-30T00:49:00.001-08:00

Music. It calms. It excites. It comforts.

More often than not, it haunts. Why?

The lyrics often strike a chord. It brilliantly puts into words what you are feeling. And in the end, you're comforted (Or you console yourself) by the fact that you're not the only one going through shit.

I've had this 2 songs playing on repeat over the past weekend.

"Gives you hell" - All American Rejects

"What goes around" - Justin Timberlake

Very bitter songs, no? I feel like I've been acting like a scorned bitch. And this is not a good thing looking at the fact that I am studying in a guy majority university.

But to quote a very good friend of mine (who also happens to be the newest reader of this blog):-

'You deserve the right to act like a scorned bitch once in a while'

Not sure if I got the exact words but you get the gist of the message. Haha.

It's time to move on.

P/s: To the newest reader of the blog, I hope all goes well with your sis and her unborn child. I'm keeping the both of them in prayers.

2008-12-26T20:17:00.001-08:00

"Some need the exhibition, and some need to know they've tried" – Belief, John Mayer

One can only try so much before looking like a fool. The question is, is there any point in trying?

At the moment, I can't see any reason to.

I feel like a fool.

2008-12-25T11:21:00.001-08:00

I never thought it would turn out like this. I never wanted it to.

I'm feeling a myriad of feelings right now.

The way you put it in the text, it's as though you've been the only one trying. And I've not been.

How do you expect me to have a serious conversation with you when I'm tipsy?

I think that we've both put so much into this. And for you to say something like that really makes me wonder.

Someone told me, "if they are stupid enough to leave, be smart enough to let them".

Maybe I should just.

This has got to be the worst Christmas ever.

Bouncing.

2008-12-05T06:41:00.001-08:00

I got myself a pair of Adidas Bounce! They retail for RM580, but I got them for only RM120! Value for money, no? I'm not going to go into the details of all the trouble I went through to get it, but suffice to say, it was a long long wait.

Today was the last straw. 2 can play at this game. And I'm not about to lose it to you.

Josh is ice cold.

The first week of the semester has been hectic. Meetings here and there. Engineering week's coming up and everyone's in a frenzy preparing proposals and stuff. I'm helping out with fundraising and it's the first time I've had such a heavy responsibility on my back. If I'm honest, I feel important, but scared at the same time.

Watched 'Twilight' on Monday and I have to say, the show was AWESOME! I wouldn't mind paying to watch it again. I'm currently hunting around for the book. Anyone have it?

2008-12-03T01:55:00.001-08:00

You ever wake up from a really good dream and try to get back to sleep?

Or you got the flu, and you promise yourself that you'll appreciate normal so much more if you could just get back to it?

That's the way I feel.

I just want things to go back to the way they were.

2008-11-29T04:17:00.001-08:00

Ida Scott Taylor once wrote: "Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. And do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

2008-11-28T03:13:00.001-08:00

A Man of Words and Not Deeds

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow
It's like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall
It's like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It's like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It's like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It's like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It's like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.

I find it pretty amazing how scriptwriters incorporate stuff like that into shows (The lines above are actually a nursery rhyme by Percy B. Green).

It's Friday! The holidays have finally come to an end.

It's been a pretty interesting week for me. I watched a friend tattoo himself. I had an enjoyable dinner with a bunch of good friends. AND I decided it was time for a change and I cut my hair short. I think I look funny but if I don't experiment now, when am I going to do it?

I'm kinda eager to get a tattoo myself. Asked the tattooist some questions and he told me to take my time in looking for a design. A tattoo IS forever, you know. Time will tell if I eventually get one.

Did she ask me because she thought I could do it? Or was it because she asked someone else and they declined. That question's been bugging me ever since she asked me.

I'm off to the gym.

2008-11-24T08:01:00.001-08:00

'Sometimes we build up walls, just to see who cares enough to tear them down'

- Anonymous

2008-11-23T07:46:00.001-08:00

"Wanting you,
To be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over.
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it."

Katherine McPhee – Over It

Just another day.

2008-11-21T09:39:00.001-08:00

600kms.

RM120 worth of petrol.

5 destinations.

6 very exhausted people.

Lots and lots of food.

That pretty much sums up what happened yesterday. Oh wait. It's already past 12. So make it, the day before yesterday.

Who knew a planned caving trip would turn into a full blown road trip. As usual, the start time of such trips would normally be delayed by the never dying excuse of oversleeping. Instead of tires rolling at 6, we only began our trip at approximately 7. Looking back, a one hour delay was not that bad considering Malaysians are never on time. Hehe.

So off we went, all excited. All 6 of us. 6 instead of the initial 7 because of a last minute pullout by someone.

As we headed north, I remembered there was this famous duck leg noodle restaurant somewhere in Bidor, and being the adventurous lot we were, we decided that we would have that for breakfast. Finding the place was simple enough. Food was excellent. A little overpriced for my liking though.

Once breakfast was safely down in our tummies, we headed to what was supposed to be the highlight of the day. S being the only girl, came mentally prepared for a 4 hour torture session. As we neared our destination, you could sense the excitement in the car. We reached and parked, only to be disappointed by what we found out next. The weather didn't look promising and the tour guides were not at all eager to take us on the tour. According to them, if it starts raining, the route we intended to use would be flooded.

If we were there,

*slicing hand action across neck with the appropriate sound effects

Not good.

He said if we wanted an adventure, we should go do white water rafting. This got everyone psyched up again. But after we found out the price, we decided against doing it. No one brought enough cash. Another suggestion that was made was to go to the nearby Lata Kijang falls. About a 40km drive away. Seeing as we drove all the way from Selangor, we decided not to let the trip go to waste. We took another tour, a cheaper dryer one. It was a fascinating experience for me. Being in the cave reminded me of a scene from Kung Fu Panda. The one where Tai Lung was imprisoned. It made me feel like I was in a movie or something. Hehe. After a while, everything looked the same to me. So we made our way out of the cave and back to the car.

20 minutes later, 40kms away, we were at the falls. Lata Kijang. At approximately 350ft high, it's the highest single drop waterfall in Malaysia. We climbed to the highest point that the trail took us, and we proceeded to have fun in the water. Spent about a good hour and a half there before we decided we were all hungry so we made our way back down. On the way there, we actually saw signboards that directed us to Kampar. So we thought it would be fun to go there and have some fish balls! Kampar's a town famous for its fried fish balls and, I just found out from dad, its ice kacang. We didn't manage to taste the ice kacang though.

After our snack break in Kampar, and quite a lengthy discussion on where to go next, we decided on having tea at, where else, the place where they grow tea. Cameron Highlands. After much snacking in the pasar malam at the top, we headed to the nearest mamak store to have our dinner. Yes, you read correctly. A mamak store. Everyone was not feeling hungry but we needed something to fill our stomachs for the long drive down.

As finally embarked on the final part of our road trip, the drive home, everyone was exhausted. We departed from Cameron at 10PM. I found out that the roads that lined the steep descent of the hill, was not lit! I got worried for a second there as I had been driving all day and was feeling really sleepy. But the cup of Nescafe I had before that seemed to help. After about 10 minutes of driving in the dark, I said a silent prayer to myself. Asking god for strength, and journey mercies. Guess what happened next, I caught up to a lorry. A really brightly lit one. And it lit the way all the way down for me. Halfway on the drive down, something struck me. This resembled a story that I heard when I was young. The story of how the Israelites crossed the desert. They had a cloud to follow by day, and a pillar of fire to follow by night.

Hrmm. Maybe this is the sign that I've been asking for? Something for me to think about I guess.

So oh well, fast forward 3 hours later, I've sent everyone home. And I'm sitting here, in front of the computer, smelling all nice and fruity, totally exhausted, and thinking back on the events of the day.

It's times like these when I realize, life is good. The spontaneity. I just love it.

*raises hand for a toast

Here's to more fun adventures like the one I had today.

2008-11-19T08:07:00.001-08:00

BITCH!

Sorry got cure, no need open police station la.

Some people have the cheek of cancelling at the last minute. It drives me crazy. Why'd you have to do this at the eleventh hour? Were you really busy all day that you couldn't send a simple text to let me know?

You very well know that we needed a minimum number of people for the tour. What do you expect me to do now?

Mcb.

End rant

2008-11-18T23:05:00.001-08:00

Herbal chicken was a success! I must remember, less water for the rice the next time around. It was a little too soggy for my liking.

Cooking sucks when you have to clean up after.

I sat by the window after lunch and just watched the workers in the construction site. Its been pouring everyday around this time for the past week. Doesn't look like something I want to be doing. Standing in the rain. Soaked to the bone. Working my ass off. I'd much rather be stuck behind a desk filing paperwork than that. But somebody has to be doing jobs like those or we won't have any buildings now, would we?

I just hope for clear weather tomorrow for our caving trip. Driving in a storm is not going to be pleasant.

I'm going to sit down with a nice hot drink right now and read my book.

2008-11-18T22:56:00.001-08:00

'You can't get the prize if you don't compete' – Serena Van DerWoodsen

2008-11-18T09:12:00.001-08:00

I do not think that anyone would starve to death in Malaysia. Unless you were dead broke. But with the generosity of us Malaysians, I highly doubt that'd ever happen.

I had Bak Kut The last night. By last night, I mean early this morning. And by early this morning, I mean 2 AM. The shop we went to only opens then and is usually sold out by 5. SOLD OUT! We weren't the only ones having the munchies last night I guess. I know, it's unhealthy to eat so late. You'll put on weight and stuff. But you only live once. Hehe.

How great would it be if you owned a place like that which opens only at night. In the morning, technically. But you get what I mean. You get to do whatever you want in the morning, and you work only for about 5 hours at night. Who needs sleep anyways, right?

It's only 3 days till Crystal's home! I'm so looking forward to it. Cause I miss her. And also because of all the presents I'm going to be getting. Hehe. Mainly it's because of the gifts :P

I'm feeling all mixed up inside right now. Sigh. I'm feeling kind of needy right now. This is bad.

Someone told me yesterday I age like a fine wine. Compliment? You help me decide.

I'm off to read a book.

Herbal chicken for lunch tomorrow. Pretty easy dish, if you ask me. Time will tell. Wish me luck! Hehe.

2008-11-17T02:30:00.001-08:00

Note to self: Never wear boxers to work out – Chafing!

"I eat, I sleep. And oh, did I mention I eat?

I live a fulfilling life. "

Hehe. I can't believe that I have had such wonderful facilities downstairs and I only used them this holiday. The gym is pretty well equipped. The pool surroundings are second to none. A jacuzzi. A waterfall (if you could call it that). The only thing missing was a girl in my arms, AND pretty ladies in skimpy skimpy swimwear. You can't have everything can you? :P

I've started working out this holiday. I hope I can keep it up. I know this may make me sound like a dangerous person, but should anyone want to mess with me, I want the confidence in knowing that I'll be able to knock him out with one punch. Hehe. I guess I've been watching too much UFC. TVs' a bad influence.

A text in the morning wishing her all the best went unreplied. I know I'm doing this to myself. But I really hope, one day, she'll come to realize that. Hrmm, I really don't know what I want her to realize. Oh well. One day at a time.

At this very moment, my dear friend is prepping up for his big date with this girl he likes. He's going to take her to a movie. A scary one at that. Who knows, she might just cling on to his arms during the entire show. I'm hoping all goes well for him.

I've got to put off searching for an internship. I'll start tomorrow. I hope. That was what I said last Thursday and look where I am now. Nowhere! I'm actually banking on my mum to get me a job at her company. She got me one last time around but I declined. Hopefully she'll be able to repeat it again this year for me. Keep your fingers crossed with me.

Krabi 17/08/2009

2008-11-13T22:03:00.001-08:00

We're going to Krabi! (Next year)

Instead of Bali due to the ignorance of a certain someone whose name I shall not mention due to my utmost respect for someone else. Haha. How hard is it to reply a text, I ask? Well for this special person, it's a regular routine to make people wait at least 6 hours to reply. Even when crucial information is needed for the booking of the tickets. As a result of that, the tickets were fully booked and we were close to being without a holiday destination. Oh come on. The least you could do is make life easier for me. Do you think calling and texting everyone for information to book tickets for them is cheap? As a result of doing that, my phone line is now barred. Oh you idiot. I just want to wring your scrawny neck right now.

p/s: Saggy, I happen to think you're a pussy :P

pp/s: Crystal, come home QUICK! Things are not the same without you around. There's no one to eat lala with me. The last time I had it was before you left! I need my fix.

2008-11-13T21:50:00.001-08:00

I am going to be the emcee for this year's Christmas play. She called and asked me to do it and I agreed.

She still has this invisible hold over me. I suck. And now I've gotten myself into something that I don't think I can handle. Speaking in front of a full house crowd isn't my forte. Thinking about it just gives me the butterflies.

But on the other hand, it will do me lots of good. Facing fears head on is a good way to get rid of them isn't it?

Hiking in KKB

2008-11-13T21:39:00.001-08:00

The day began like no other. Why so? I dragged myself out of bed at 8 in the morning. 8! Such an ungodly hour to be out of bed at. Hehe.

One look out the window, and I thought to myself. Hmmm. I could say the weather doesn't look too good and climb back into bed. But I've done nothing close to useful ever since the holidays started, so I decided against it.

Why was I up so early in the morning? We made plans to have at least a trip every single week of the holiday to keep ourselves occupied. So the first trip was to, as the title says, KKB. Kuala Kubu Baru. The last time we were there we set up camp, and had the heavens open on us when we were there, thus, sorta ruining the trip. This time around, it was no different.

As soon as we stepped foot across the suspension bridge that leads us into the trails, it started drizzling. We immediately picked up the pace so as not to allow the guard to call us back. Hehe. The hike was supposed to take about an hour. We took more than that due to several wrong turnings on the way there. After lots of cursing and backtracking, we finally reached the waterfall. It was beautiful. The person who told me that it was rivaled only by the raging waters of Niagara Falls was not kidding. Maybe it's because I've only seen Niagara Falls on the telly. Or maybe it's because I haven't been to a waterfall in quite some time that this one awed me. The water was splashing all over the place. And it gave the place sort of a very enchanted feel about it.

We played around in the water for about an hour before it started pouring even heavier. That was our cue to get the heck out of the place. The guard warned us that we shouldn't be in the river or near it during a heavy storm. Who knows what might happen. We made a run back for our stuff and started on the long arduous hike back. I don't know why but coming out seemed to be heck of a lot harder than going in. Once we were out, everyone was soaked to the bone. But all in all, it was a good trip. The scenic hike, cold clear water. I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime.

We're going caving at Gua Tempurung next week! (I hope)

2008-11-10T14:14:00.001-08:00

It's now exactly a month since the day I told you about it. I can't believe how things just took a 180 degree turn in such a short time. There are so many things I've been meaning to say to you. I don't know why but I haven't been able to do it.

When I'm around you, I feel happy. Just a smile from you brightens my day. With you, there's no pretending. I can vent if I am having a bad day and I know there'd be no judging when you're listening. All the fun times we had in each other's company. As corny as this may sound, you're the first thing on my mind in the morning. And the last thing on mind before I fall asleep at night. If someone were to ask me, what did I like about you? I wouldn't know the answer for sure. It may be the big things, like the person you are, your personality and all your other qualities. Or it may be the small things, like the way you talk to yourself while you're concentrating hard, or maybe it's just the way you smile. But if I sat down and thought long and hard about it, I'd say it's a mixture of everything that makes you such a wonderful person.

The other night when you said that it couldn't be any more than what we have right now, it crushed me. But we've been friends for quite some time now. And I knew I didn't want to throw that out the window just because of the other night. I tried my best to get things back to normal. And it hasn't been easy for me at all.

I know now, things are never going to be the same again. Wanting something badly doesn't necessarily mean you'll get it. I don't know. I just feel that you're taking me for granted. The other night when you were so upset and I tried calling, you said you didn't feel like talking, I thought alright. I'll just let you be and let you calm down yourself. The next day I found out you were out with some other guy. It made me feel like you didn't want to be talking to me because you had someone else. The green monster in me reared its ugly head and I felt absolutely miserable. Maybe I'm not good enough for you. I'm not as smart, or as athletic, or as charming as him.

And I can't believe you had the nerve to tell me you weren't feeling good because your 'good friend' wasn't talking to you. I hated the fact that you made it sound like everything that happened was my fault. All I have to say is, there's no such thing as a one handed clap. Or a one person tango. Or anything else that has to be done in pairs for that matter. At this very moment, you're my least favorite person in, dare I say this, the entire world. A close friend of mine told me today that there was a very fine line between a nice guy and a stupid one. She said at this very moment, you're the stupid guy. If she's treating you like this, there's no point in being nice to her as well.

I took a quiet little drive by myself earlier and I had some time to think about it. I hate to admit it, but I think she was right. I can't remember where exactly I read this quote from, but in a gist, it goes something like, 'why make someone your only choice when you're only an option to them?'

I can't remember feeling this fucked up in a long time. The exams are over. I should be out enjoying myself. But instead, I find myself feeling upset cause I see the both of you. I think I am the stupidest person alive at this very moment. If you had something for him, you should have just said something to me instead of coming up with this stupid monologue that came out of a crappy movie. I'm really comfortable being friends. I'd be a bitch if I got together with someone so quickly after I just broke up. Oh come on. You didn't think I'd be able to take it?

On hindsight, I wouldn't have taken it well. But it sure beats finding out the way I did. A slap on the face would be how I'd describe it. you said we're good friends. I think you forgot to mention that we're good friends that keep things from each other. Arghhh. It's fucking 6 in the morning and I can't go to sleep.

But well, I think the beginning of the holidays marks an end to a chapter in my life I'd like to call 'SCREWED UP'.

First you, then the company that I've put in so much time and effort and money into. I lose it. Yes. I may be the youngest of the lot. But that doesn't mean I am not to be taken seriously. I was honest with you guys. And now I'm being ostracized. If we're no longer in business together, that doesn't mean we have to stop being friends, altogether does it? I can't believe how everything I once held dear to me, is all gone. I can't help feeling sorry for myself. I know life's a bitch. But heck, cut me some slack.

The business that I had was the one thing I was proud of. And now its gone. Sigh. To make matters worse, I no longer have a bike to ride. Some idiot I called a friend has gone off the radar, bringing my bike with him. Sheesh.

I really wish you would read all of this. And I am so tempted to send it to you. But our friendship is already at its breaking point. And I do not want to push it over the edge. Maybe this 3 week holiday came at a good time. Time for everyone to clear their minds. I sure know I need to.

On a whole other note, being on a holiday sucks when you're broke.

Saggy, I know you're bound to read this. I want to apologize for being an ass over the past couple of weeks. I know everything that has been going on is not a valid excuse but thanks for sticking by me.

2008-09-18T08:37:00.001-07:00

My body feels worn out. Just came back from kickboxing class. Today was very interesting. We sparred for real this time. Not light punches. We went full on today. With gloves, and the head gear. The head gear does a really good job of absorbing the hits. I would know. I got hit in the face more than a dozen times in 4 bouts. Did pretty ok for a first timer. At least, that is what they said.

I've been feeling pretty under the weather lately. I'm trying not so show it, but it's getting harder and harder.

On a more cheerful (read: funny) note, Saggy met someone new today. Someone of the opposite sex. Haha. It was kind of weird if you ask me, but hey, life is funny that way isn't it? She just came up to Saggy and started asking him some stuff that we needed to register for. Next thing you know, Saggy's driving her to a photo studio to take her photos with me in tow. Haha. It was super uncomfortable for me at first, but I tried to be nice and made conversation with her. It sucks to sit in a car in silence with someone you just met. Saggy, was being a perfect gentleman today. He even bought her some ice cream from McD's.

My body hurts. I have a test and a quiz tomorrow. Procrastinating is taking its toll on me. I feel lonely.

2008-09-17T06:00:00.001-07:00

I think I've had the most fun this week in a long time.

A regular nightcap with a cow, a lamb, and a mushroom, turned into a road trip up the steep, windy roads of Genting Highlands for a steaming cup of hot chocolate in Starbucks. Haha. As the 4 of us conversed over that little round table, many secrets were revealed. All equally juicy. All of which, will remain in that circle that is the table.

That was the 2^nd time I've had a spur of the moment trip up to Genting.

Then just yesterday, we had a bbq to celebrate YT's birthday. It was an advanced celebration because she would be leaving back for the UK this coming Sunday. As with any bbq, we had liquor. And boy, was yesterday a hilarious evening.

K, the resident good boy of the house, had no inhibitions last night. Shot after shot, he downed. It was hilarious to see him drunk. I wish I could say I didn't make a fool out of myself, but I can't. Videos of embarrassing acts were recorded. None of which, I hope, will be able to see the light of day.

Once YT leaves, the house will officially be a bachelor pad again. Haha. But it was good having a girl around. Someone to keep the guys in check. And not to mention, sweep and mop the place once a week. Guess the floors in the house won't be as clean as when she is around. Hehe. Will definitely miss her.

I'm having a blast of a week.

I am swamped with work. but I somehow find a way to procrastinate when all the deadlines are just around the corner. A quiz tomorrow morning. A test on Friday evening. A project due next Friday. God help me.

i can't seem to get her out of my head.

2008-09-11T08:54:00.001-07:00

I feel fucked up right now. I know I'm doing this to myself. How sometimes, the heart just wants what it wants. Arghhhh.

Writing always makes me feel better. So here's a recap of what's been going on all week. Last weekend, I went without sleep for a whole 36 hours. A personal record. Sure did take a toll on me though. I've been feeling under the weather all week. I've been coughing all week and I had a fever this morning. It sucks to be sick. What sucks more is that when you feel that no one gives a damn about you. Save for 2 of my closest buddies. Others whom I thought I was close to never called to check up or anything. Is a simple phone call asking for too much? It sucks to find out that you don't matter as much to them as they to you :(

Anyways, the weekend was kind of an interesting one. I took part in a football tournament. We were the only all Chinese team in the tournament. Haha. and boy did we get a thrashing. We didn't score a goal in 4 games. I did get booked for a foul though. A yellow card. Haha. At least someone took notice of me during the match. The weather was hot. And not sleeping all night didn't help too.

Had a cuppa the night before with M. it was fun catching up. She put some things into my head. And, me being me, actually gave it some thought. You have to let her know if you want her. No point sitting around and hoping. That way, if there is no chance of it, you guys can continue being friends. I actually thought it would work. That I could just get it over and done with. Happy ending or not, we would at least still be able to be friends.

As if the heavens thought the same, she texted me on the very same day. I asked her out for dinner that night. I was nervous, and very very tired. But when I saw her, her smiling face, this may sound corny and all, but everything just left. The tiredness and the nervousness all just fell away. I was really happy to see her. Had dinner down in KL. Tasty beef noodles. Then we went for a walk on, I think, the busiest street in town. All the lights and the colors. I was having a good time. Then the anxiousness struck again. I was wondering how I was going to tell her. As the night drew on, I knew I wouldn't have the guts to bring it up and tell it to her. So I just let it slide. On the drive back, I was dead tired already. I tried my best to keep the conversation going but at one point, I just couldn't be bothered. When we finally got to her place, I wanted to just ask her to stay for a little moment longer, just to tell her how I felt. But again, I didn't do it. I just watched as she left the car and walked back to the apartment. God I felt like the most useless person in the world.

Moving on, I knew the week was going to be a hectic one. A had 2 AGMs to attend. I was getting elected vice president for SIR. The Society of Ingeniurs. That's German for engineer. At the time when we were discussing who was going to take up which post, I did not want any part in the club. One, because I was worried my workload would be too much to handle. And two, the club isn't, how do I put this, in its prime. After lengthy persuasion from the current president, and the fact that I would be working with more friends this time around, I accepted the responsibility. It's going to be a tough year, but I guess what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. Besides the AGMs that I had to attend, there was the gearbox project that was going to be due, and a test on Friday. We've been having tests week after week since college reopened after the holidays. Sigh.

I'm sitting here, after a kickboxing class, which on hindsight, wasn't very smart of me to attend, because I am feeling really worn out now. The fever this morning sapped all my energy. But sitting around in the house all day wasn't what I wanted to be doing so I manned up and went for the class.

I still have a test to study for! I wish she would text me and ask me how I am. Sigh.

I'm off to study. I hope the fever doesn't get any worse.

Wish me luck,

2008-08-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

before i forget,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL!

that was the most expensive call i have made in ages, but it was well worth it.

hope that you have a wonderful year ahead. come back quick alright. i cant wait to see you again. haha.

j

2008-08-31T12:38:00.001-07:00

it has been quite an eventful week.

i fell sick on monday. been ages since i last had a fever. and i suffered dearly. it's during times like these that i realise it sucks to not have someone who is there for you. i had someone to call though. thank you. haha. if it weren't for you, i wouldnt have gotten through the night.

had lunch with A on weds. it felt good to go out with her again after some time. but it didnt help what i was feeling. it only made me want it more. talk about digging your own grave. try as i might, i can never forget that pretty smile of hers. C seems to think that she is trying to brush me off. i kinda feel it too. but maybe i'm just lying to myself. one can hope for the best no?

finally it was the stupid test i dreaded. didnt study very much. but i think i did alright. time will tell for sure how well i did. then it was saggy's bday party!

it was supposed to be a fun night out. it was at the beginning. then it slowly turned around. maybe its just me being stupid. but the sight of .................................... seriously drove me bonkers. argghhh. i need to get over this before i ruin things with her.

friday was the most interesting day of the week i guess. i asked K about something that has been bugging me for awhile, and i'm glad i got to hear her answer. i sorta have closure about the whole thing now.

met up with the guys on saturday for a round of beer. we had spare cans of beer from the camping trip that we went. so we thought it would be best to finish them asap. unfortunately, everyone only managed one can. so we still have leftovers.

a friend of mine told me of the stuff he is going through right now. all i can say is, be strong. these things will pass. i was there before. and i got through it. i'm sure you will as well.

i have to go to bed. its been 3 nights in a row that i have slept at 4. turning night into day as my dad calls it. class starts in about 30 hours. better enjoy what i have left of it.

j

2008-08-24T03:06:00.001-07:00

The Submarines

Brighter Discontent

Got a brand new roof above my head
All the empty boxes thrown away
I rearranged the place
A hundred times today
But the ordering of objects
Couldn't hide what's missing

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

Got myself a bottle of red wine
Got a night of nothing else to do
I think I might know
What I really want
But is a brighter discontent
The best that I could hope to find?

Got a big black television set
Now I can watch just what I want
But I'm here staring up
At pictures on the wall
And where are you,
You're still stuck inside them all

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

But love is not these belongings
That surround me
Though there's meaning
In the memories they hold
A breaking heart in an empty apartment
Was the loudest sound I never heard

Got a desk I'll write myself a note
Pretending that it came from you
On hotel stationary
From the time we first met
Whatever I can do cause
I won't throw my hands up yet

All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be home again
All these things should make me happy
Make me happy to be alone again

But love is not these belongings
That surround you
Though there's meaning
In the memories they hold
A breaking heart in an empty apartment
Was the loudest sound I never heard

Well I'll be find if
I dont look around me now
Too much for what's gone
If only I can wait here just a little while
And let time pass in my room

2008-08-23T00:26:00.001-07:00

It's been 2 days since I got home from a camping trip at Sg. Chilling, KKb, and I'm still itching all over from rashes from god knows what. Went to a doctor and he gave me a cream to apply and some pills for the itch. Pills which I can only take before I go to sleep. What the hell am I gonna use when I am awake?! I want to die. An itch that you cannot scratch is the worst possible feeling one can have.

The trip didn't go as smoothly as we planned. As soon as we started our trip, we took the wrong way. No thanks to A, who thought he knew how to go. Haha. Then it was a nerve biting half an hour driving along a road with messed up signboards. One signboard said 9kms to go. The next one said it was 10. Like WTF, seriously WTF. It's no wonder people get lost in our country. The stupid signboards are useless. And the ones which are actually accurate, the local municipal screws it up by planting a big tree in front of it. What is the use of a signboard behind a big tree?

When we finally got there, we set up tent and started the fire. My shiny new Swiss knife was put to good use cutting wood shavings to start the fire. Unfortunately for me, its not so shiny anymore. After all that, we finally got the chance to jump into the rushing waters of the river. It was so relaxing to sit there and let the rushing water beat on your back. A natural massage chair. Hehe. We fooled around in the water for about half an hour before we decided to get started on the cooking. We could hear thunder in the distance and we could already see lightning flashing across the sky.

Dinner was lamb steak and roasted chicken wings. The tastiest meal I have had in ages, that's for sure. The cleaning up wasn't so fun. It was so difficult to get the gunk out of the mess tins. By the time we finished washing up; it was close to 7pm. we went back and fooled around in the river till it got dark. We finally settled down around 8. Just lay down on the fly sheets that we brought by the fire, and looked up into the stars. Talking and drinking beer. The simple life. It was a change to be far away from civilization. Instead of my normal routine of planting myself in front of the computer till the wee hours in the morning, I was sitting by a fire with a bunch of close friends, beer in hand, chatting the night away.

I was enjoying myself thoroughly. Then the heavens decided to open up and pour down on us. The tent that we brought along was just a place for us to store our bags. It wasn't for us to sleep in. luckily for us, the campsite was empty after dark. On the way in, we noticed a little gazebo for people to rest in. we grabbed whatever we thought we needed and rushed to it.

The rain really spoiled the evening. It was pouring for about an hour before it finally stopped. By then, A and N were already sleeping. Me and S were hungry so we decided to go back to the campsite and try to get the fire going again. We spent 2 hours there and all we got were only embers. We couldn't get the fire going again because everything was soaked. We gave up and used the solid fuel we brought along to cook a bowl of Maggi.

When we were done, we retired back to the gazebo. All tired and worn out. The night was really cool. And halfway through the night, it started raining again. Surprisingly enough, we weren't attacked by any mosquitoes. Haha.

The sun rises quite early in that area. At around 6 something, light began to fill the place again. With the mist, and the chirping sounds of the birds and crickets, it made for a pretty wonderful morning.

Walked back to the campsite to find everything messed up. The water got everywhere. Our clothes were drenched. The tent was literally flooded. Oh well, lucky for us the trip was only 2 days. Haha. We proceeded to make breakfast and after that packed up all our stuff. The initial plan was for us to make the 1 hour hike up to the waterfall. According to a man we just met, the waterfall was about 200 feet high. And he said that it is the best waterfall in the world, behind Niagara Falls that is. I was eager to go and have a look at it but the rest were too lazy. Let's go home, they said. So home we went.

Made a stop for a durian lunch. People must have thought we were mad. Sitting in the rain, eating durians. But it's the crazy things that make life interesting, no?

Me being the useless son that I am, only found out that it was dad's birthday when I got home. Luckily enough, I got home before dinner. We had dinner at Vietnam Kitchen. Ordered all sorts of dishes. Crabs, prawns, fish. Lots of seafood on hindsight.

Maybe that was what caused the rashes?

Oh well, enough writing for now. On last count, word said I had 920 words. Haha. Has to be the longest post by far.

And to Saggy, it's always bros over ho's ok. Haha.

18/08/2008

2008-08-17T09:30:00.001-07:00

It's a long boring Sunday. Mun's back from India but he'll be flying off to US first thing on Tuesday morning for another month or so before he finally comes back. I'm just glad he is back. Been watching all my friends fly off overseas one by one. The people that I usually hang out with are no longer here. At least, when one goes away, another one comes back. Haha.

I guess today would be the 4^th week that I have skipped church. Only reason I have is that I am lazy. Which is not a very good one. Backsliding. That's what they call it. The worst part of all this is, my parents seem to have given up on trying to get me to go. The first time it happened, I breathed a sigh of relief. No hammering on my door at 8 in the morning. But now that it keeps happening week after week, I feel that I am disappointing them. I feel guilty. I need counseling!

I received an sms last night from a person I least expected one from. It was a pleasant surprise. I was just thinking of that someone and the phone beeped. It just made the night a whole lot better. Was feeling kinda cranky all day from the weather. But it got me thinking. She was at a party and she texted me. She must have been PRETTY bored! That made me feel a little taken for granted. When I texted her today, she said she was busy. Cest la vie?

Just a little excerpt I stole from a blog of a very dear friend of mine.

"Have you ever felt that you wanted something so badly, but no matter how hard you try, it just seems to get further away from your grasp? I have."

That just sums up whatever I am feeling right now. Only thing is we are feeling the same thing for totally different reasons.

On a more cheery note, Mun bought a shirt back from india which says "with this face and body, I sometimes cause a RIOT". Oh and I just dyed my hair. Dark copper red. I'll only be able to know how it turned out tomorrow morning as it is too dark to tell now. Being color blind doesn't help either.

-_-

2008-08-13T08:13:00.001-07:00

"Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore"
(feat. LeAnn Rimes)

It might be hard to be lovers
But it's harder to be friends
Baby, pull down the covers
It's time you let me in
Maybe light a couple candles
I'll just go ahead and lock the door
If you just talk to me baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

Lay your head on my pillow
I sit beside you on the bed
Don't you think its time we say
Some things we haven't said
It ain't too late to get back to that place
Back to where, we thought it was before
Why don't you look at me
Till we ain't strangers anymore

Sometimes it's hard to love me
Sometimes it's hard to love you too
I know it's hard believing
That love can pull us through
It would be so easy
To live your life

With one foot out the door
Just hold me baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

[Solo]

It's hard to find forgiveness
When we just turn out the light
It's hard to say you're sorry
When you can't tell wrong from right
It would be so easy
To spend your whole damn life
Just keeping score
So let's get down to it baby
There ain't no need to lie

Tell me who you think you see
When you look into my eyes
Lets put our two hearts back together
And we'll leave the broken pieces on the floor
Make love with me baby
Till we ain't strangers anymore

We're not strangers anymore
We're not strangers
We're not strangers anymore

I'm feeling very emo right now.

A leopard can’t change its spots.

2008-08-13T08:10:00.001-07:00

At least, that's how the age old saying goes. It may be true for the leopard, but I believe people do change. If it was a change for the better, now, that would be a good thing. What do you do when they change for the worse?

I thought that getting it off my chest and sharing it with someone would just relieve me. Can't say it did.

Dinner was kind of weird just now. Thank god there was badminton on TV. If it wasn't on, I cannot bear to imagine how things at the table would be. I'm trying really hard to shut it out. Maybe if I ignore it hard enough, it will go away. But every time I see her smile at me, I just go all warm inside.

Some fat ass asked me what it was about her that attracted me to her. The answer to that would be everything. Personality traits that I repulse and all. Wtf right?

You're right. I'm screwed.

11.08.08

2008-08-11T07:03:00.001-07:00

Cycling does wonders for the mind. When you're feeling worked up over something, go for a spin on your bike. I guarantee, everything will just fall away. Try it.

The weekend was filled with meeting new and old friends, booze, booze, more booze, and a dash of spontaneity that made for a very unforgettable evening. 08.08.08. The most auspicious date of the year I would say. What with 8 meaning prosperity in Cantonese. Traffic jams were everywhere. People rushing home to watch the opening ceremony. At least that was what I figured. Until someone mentioned that it was most probably due to the high number of wedding dinners happening.

That made sense. I would want to get married on an auspicious date. No, I'm not superstitious. It would just make it easier to remember your wedding anniversary I guess. No coming home after a long day at work, and your wife going, "dear, do you know what day it is today?". Won't it make for a much happier marriage? :P

To sum it up, I attended a birthday dinner, followed by the after party at Bar Savanh, and the after party after party at Moo's place in KL. Sipping Bacardi mixed with Red Bull at 4 in the morning in a pool overlooking the KL skyline. Thinking back, it just brings a smile to my face. I just hope that everyone will continue to make the effort to keep in touch with each other. Hopefully we'll be able to do this again few years from now.

I had an awkward situation in the car on the way to a yumcha session. N introduced me to this cute girl in the car. Me and my short term memory loss, forgot her name as we were reaching the place. So I thought why not I just try my luck and call her a name that I thought was hers. What happened after that was hilarious. It took me a good 20 minutes to finally guess her name. She was nice enough not to get offended though. Hehe. I gotta make an effort to remember peoples' names!

To the very avid reader of this blog, no, you're never gonna figure it out. Haha.

And I called DIBS first! Haha. But feel free to go for it if you think it is worthwhile. When it all burns to a crisp, let me know, so I can say "I TOLD YOU SO!'.

7/8/2008

2008-08-06T09:06:00.001-07:00

It's been a good whole month since classes have started. Yet I still haven't gotten into gear yet. Holidays. One can never get enough of it.

I realized something though. Over the 4 weeks that I've been here, I've been really occupied. Club meetings (I cannot understand why one must have meetings every week. other clubs are not doing it, why must we? I guess it's this attitude of mine that I have to change. Or else I won't be going very far in life. Ha-ha. ), kickboxing classes, cycling, triathlons, duathlons, industrial visits. I've been a busy bee haven't i?

Kickboxing is seriously fun. And I would encourage anyone to try it out. Sure, it hurts like hell. But there's nothing like going to kickboxing class after a long day of boring classes and punching the life out of a punching bag. Haha. All the stretching will cause your body to hurt. But this is the good kind of pain. Haha. I really like pain I guess.

Cycling has become a routine. Every Wednesday evening is allocated for cycling. The roads in Putrajaya, and Cyberjaya are just sweet. Rolling hills, smooth windy roads. One could not ask for more.

I was at the Proton manufacturing plant earlier this week. it was a really good experience to see what goes into the development of a national car. You will not believe the amount of equipment they have judging from the quality of cars they are producing. Which I have mentioned in an earlier post to be a piece of shit. A piece of shit that I hope to be driving soon. What? It's the cheapest car money can buy nowadays. Haha. Left the place with big ambitions. I'm plan to work with a major auto manufacturer and hopefully I'll be able invent something that wows the world. Aim high, no?

Got into an argument with SP earlier. I have no idea why we still manage to get on each other's nerves. Even in cyberspace. Arghhh. It's so frustrating. A simple question of what happened turned out into a full blown argument. On hindsight, its fucking hilarious how we affect each other after so long. SL threatened to wring my neck if I even tried talking to her again. SL is not one to mess around with so I'll just leave everything be for now. What am I going to do when I see her Friday? Ignore her? Decisions, decisions.

rant

2008-08-06T08:46:00.001-07:00

Call me twisted. But the other day when I heard the news from you, I couldn't help but secretly smile to myself. God knows how long I've been waiting to hear you say that. Now comes a whole barrage of new challenges. I never thought this would happen. I'm so confused now. Am I willing to risk something I've put so much effort into? Or do I want to take a leap of faith and see where this goes?

'To live without regrets'. Something that I hope to live by.

Just needed to rant. It's just me being cryptic again so don't mind this post.

26/07/08

2008-07-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

A wonderful day, I had yesterday.

Started off the day early at 6 in the morning. Why was I up so early? I was taking part in MUDS! The Malakoff University Duathlon Series. As usual, I had no training, and I expected to do well in it. One can dream cant he? Ha-ha. So off I went to the race area, which was in Universiti Malaya. Running, cycling, and then running again is no easy feat. The race went well; I managed to do it all with a time of around 1 hour and 20 minutes. The winner came in sub 1 hour. 59 minutes. I have LOADS of catching up to do if I ever want to win an event like this. The main objective of the day was to come in in front of N. which I comfortably did. I had a 10 minute lead over him. Ha-ha. Hope I can keep it up at the next race this coming Saturday.

Next agenda of the day was meeting up with V. V is Mun’s friend from India. He owns a bike shop so I thought it would be beneficial for me to meet him. it was interesting to know what he thought of certain things in the bike industry. It was very humbling to talk to him as he has been in the business for more than 15 years now. He said he would hook me up with some contacts from Thailand for certain products. Hope he does it. Looks like there is money to be made! Hehe.

Church was next. I think it has been more than a month since I last went to church. I actually stayed up and listened to the sermon, and it was as though it was written for me. I gotta set certain things straight I guess.

Last on the agenda for the day was the eagerly anticipated dinner with old friends. HQ, A, and TSY. Its been ages since we last sat down like that and just talked. Haha. the chicken that we had was super tasty as well. Overpriced, but tasty nonetheless. It was a little annoying to have to set a date so far in advance ( 1 month ) to meet up with friends. But I guess you have to do what you have to do. Everyone is busy nowadays. More effort is needed to keep in touch. I’m just glad we didn’t cancel the dinner. Haha. I’ll see you girls this coming Thursday if all goes well.

2008-07-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

This is special update for a certain someone who said that this page was looking too dead.

Anyways, a quick summary of what has happened over the past 2 months? I really can’t remember how long it has been. Hehe.

1) IEM-IES Meet – as the name suggests, it was a meet between the institution of engineers from Singapore and Malaysia. It was a 12 hour train journey there. A long torturous ride. But as soon as we got there, we were greeted with smiling faces and a big ass banner which said ‘Welcome to Singapore’ at the entrance of NUS. Which I might add, is one hell of a university. That place is B-E-A-U-TIFUL! They have fast food outlets ON campus. A BAR! Pool tables and an air conditioned cafeteria which is on par with the food court in KLCC, just to mention a few. I kinda regret not working my ass off in high school to get into this place. Haha. There is another option. I do my post grad studies there. Kind of a long shot for me as I never thought I would want to continue studying after I leave university but who knows.

2) PD International Triathlon – the biggest race of the triathlon calendar. Or so they say. But with a turnout of over a thousand participants, i highly doubt it. this time around we had 2 groupies tagging along with us for the race. Haha. S and L. to be honest, I wished I had someone there with me. watching S and N was really annoying. Haha. this time around, the race was as eventful as the last one. Its been 3 races and we still have not completed one without a glitch. The first one in Malacca was N cramping up during the swim leg. Thank god nothing happened to him. the second race, N got knocked over by someone while running. I thought the 3rd time would be a charm. I was wrong. Haha. A had to help someone who was tired during the swim leg which caused him to lose a lot of time. I’m just hoping the next one will be able to be uneventful. That way, we can see how good we really are.

3) DARK KNIGHT – one word. AWESOME! Watched it at IMAX with a bunch of friends. I was expecting the screen in there to be super frigging huge. When I got in the cinema, it wasn’t as big as I expected. That turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Cause with such a big screen, I had difficulty focusing at certain points of the movie. I cannot imagine if the screen was any bigger. Hehe.

4) Victorinox Swiss Knife - I received one today from my friends. A very super belated birthday present. According to one of them, they had to order it in. that was why it took so long. Love all of them to bits.

5) Yuen Steamboat – this coming Saturday I’ll be meeting up with a few of my old classmates. Looking forward to it.

That’s all I can remember for now.

All the best for your test this coming Thursday.

1/6/2008

2008-06-01T07:51:00.001-07:00

Life report: it's been 3 days since I turned 21. No major changes in life.

Highlights of the past 3 days:

I gave the Malay prick a piece of my mind. Stooped to his level to do it. felt incredibly stupid after that. Vowed to myself not to let something like that happen again. Felt no better than him. But at least he knew not to mess with me after that. I hope. Haha. It's still one down, and 9 more jackasses to deal with. But news travels fast. Let's just see what happens tomorrow.

Went to Bangkok Jazz. Good company, great band, and even better liquor, made for an excellent night out. Didn't cost me very much too. I like jazz!

Found a replacement bonnet at a car chop shop. New experiences every day. A chop shop. Not a very nice place to be in. Looks like a place where someone could be easily murdered and left to rot. The initial quote for it was rm200. I think if I really am going to get it, I could most probably haggle for a lower price. Next, went to someone who could knock out the dents in the car. Quote for that was rm500. Which is an exorbitant amount of money, IMO of course, for a simple job. Will be heading somewhere else to get a quote. Luna's engine is in immaculate condition after the accident. Nothing needs to be done. Most of the damage was cosmetic. Dad said he was willing to do it up nicely. Give Luna a new coat of paint. Said something along the lines of, 'it's going to be your birthday present'. Not going to argue with him on that. I desperately need wheels!

Had another tooth patched up. Dentist was relentless in the way he used the drill. No mercy. Even when I was squirming in pain, did he show any intention of slowing down. Damn arrogant old man. Just because I said that his previous RCT may not have been done properly, he threw a tantrum.

I've decided. In 2 weeks, I'll be leaving my job. At least I persevered for 2 months. Or I would have at the end of the 2 weeks.

Off to bed,

How bizarre.

2008-05-28T10:05:00.001-07:00

The clock struck 12, signaling my not very significant existence on this planet for the past 21 years. Parents and a good friend were on hand to usher it in with me. Thank you guys very much.

To be honest, over the years, birthdays have lost its flair and excitement. Maybe it's because I am getting older. And hopefully, just hopefully, a little wiser. from what I gathered, I thought turning 21 was going to be a big deal. Now that its actually happening, I don't feel much.

It is funny though. The first people to wish you either by calling or by sms-ing, are not the people you are closest with. Bar SL who called all the way from AUS. If you happen to read this, I'm sorry about the bitch thingy. Again =P The first people, who call with their well wishes, are usually the people you don't keep in touch with. The ones you were ONCE friends with. I have no idea where I am going with this.

Off to bed. The next 24, I mean, 23 hours are supposed to be great and happy and fun. Cause that's what all the messages I am receiving are telling me. Haha. I'm just hoping that I get through the day with the least amount of abuse from my idiotic, useless, stupid co-workers. If that happens, I'll be a happy 21 year old, errr, man. Haha.

Gnight

2008-05-26T10:30:00.001-07:00

It's not every day you get to see a grown man of 40 act like a kindergarten kid. There is one place though. My work place. Useless pieces of shit.

Looking back over the past 6 weeks that I have worked there, I realize that I have learnt quite a lot of things. For instance, work is not easy. Saying work is tough is an understatement. And, Malay people are useless. More useless than a snooze button on a fire alarm. Arghhhh. I hate them. Some of you may say why on earth you are getting so worked up about this for. It's not like its anything new is it? Haha. oh well, I'll just have to live with them for the next 5 weeks or so. Or maybe only for the next 5 days. I was thinking of quitting the job. Take a break. Enjoy the last month of my holidays. Before I go back for classes. I still have 3 or so days to make my decision. What will I do?

Had a spinning session earlier followed by swimming. Exercise really relaxes the body. Having 2 pretty girls there while you spin was an additional bonus. Unfortunately for me, they both spoke very little English and that was a total turn off for me. Me being a total banana didn't help very much as well. Haha. A Chinese who cannot speak mandarin or Cantonese fluently. I really need to brush up on those 2. Not gonna let chances like this slip away again! Hehe.

Off to bed,

18/05/2008

2008-05-18T06:27:00.001-07:00

It's been a little over a week since the accident happened. The whole time, I was feeling very angry. I didn't know why. I would just snap at the littlest thing. The worst part was, I felt that my parents were silently punishing me for the accident.

One evening I had a shouting match with dad and I let it slip that I thought they were punishing me. For the next 24 hours, not a word was spoken either by me or by dad and mum. Eventually dad came around and sat me down to have a talk. He asked me why I was feeling like that. He said that the whole family had noticed a change in my behavior. I was yelling at every opportunity at someone. Even my sisters were afraid to approach me. At least that was what he said. But I don't think he had any reason to lie to me. He went on to say that he thought I was feeling guilty that was why I was feeling the way I was. He said he wasn't angry at me or anything. Right after he said that, I felt a tremendous sense of relief. Like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. Things changed immediately after that. The atmosphere in the house was not as tense as it was before. Things were back to normal. Phew.

Hehe. Well, it has been months since I last did what I did today. I spent the whole day with the one thing I love. Bikes. Just sat and chilled in the bike shop. Talking bike related stuff. The Bike Boutique has taken Banshee Bikes! That was the highlight of the day. Hopefully this relationship will bloom into a fruitful, and money bearing one. Hehe.

I'm turning 21 in 10 days. Cant say I feel excited. Don't know why. Maybe it's because of the string of bad stuff happening to me recently. Lil sis got mean early birthday present though. That was one of the highlights of the week. A cool shirt from Topman. Always wanted to buy stuff from there but the prices were EXORBITANT! Haha. Love her to bits.

Off to rest for work tomorrow. Work! On a PUBLIC HOLIDAY! My boss is an ass.

2008-05-09T02:50:00.001-07:00

When I woke up this morning, never once did it cross my mind that the day was going to be this bad.

I was already late for work, and in a rush. What normally happens when you rush? You get into an accident. To make things worse, it was rush hour, and I could see people mouthing swears and curses at me and the 2 unfortunate people who were also involved in the accident as well. It happened so fast. One second I was a fair distance away from the car in front of me. Next thing I know, I was slamming the brakes and the tires started squealing. At that moment, I knew that I wasn't going to stop in time. And I went into the back of the car in front of me. This in turn caused a chain reaction of him hitting the car in front of him. Oh joy!

Then it was off to the usual, lodge a police report, give your statements, and then let the insurance companies and the stupid call men do their work. I seriously think they get great pleasure in watching people in distress. They swoop down like a hungry vulture to dead meat, and they take advantage of you when you are still shaken from the whole accident. Before you know it, you get billed an exorbitant amount of money for puny damages. Arghhh. I hate them!

It was as though things were not bad enough, I headed to the Bukit Aman Police Station to appeal the summon that I got. When I reached there, I found out the stupid compound officer, or whatever it is they call them, only worked on Tuesday and Thursday. It took me a half hour walk to get there from the LRT station. And it wasn't open. Sigh.

I headed home with a heavy heart. I didn't know what to do. The car was a mess, I was tired, I missed work, and I was running out of cash. On the train back home, i thought of asking SP's dad whether he knew of a good place to get my car fixed. I forgot to mention this but the insurance that I have for the car, is only 3^rd party insurance. This means, In the event of an accident, I wouldn't get compensated for my damages. Only the people I ran into. I was wondering how I was going to contact her dad, decided not to call her, and get my sister to call her and ask for me. SP being the nice person that she is, called me immediately. I almost didn't answer the phone. But I didn't have any choice. She called, made sure I was alright, and offered to bring me back to my car and drive with me to the workshop. I was too tired to decline so I said yes.

Before we picked up the car, I suggested us grabbing lunch first. She gladly agreed. And off we were to have lunch. To be honest, it was so good to see her after so long. It was good catching up. I was happy. It reminded me of the times when we were together. Sigh.

Fast forward past lunch, I was standing outside the mechanic's place that her dad had recommended. She left in a hurry without saying good bye. The mech said the damage was too much. They wouldn't be able to source the parts. Even if they did, it would cost me dearly. Sigh. Things were going from bad to worse.

I am thankful that the car suffered the brunt of the accident and not me instead. Ah well, now I don't have a car to drive.

I felt an immense feeling of sadness when SP left. During lunch, sitting there talking to her, I felt that things were all going to be alright. The way she scrunches up her nose. The way she laughs. It just brought back a wave of memories. Memories of the good times that we had.

If only I had not woke up late today. If only I had been driving a little bit further back. If only I hadn't stepped out of the house this morning. If only I hadn't made the stupid decision to break up with her.

So many ifs. I'm off to bed. The person I want to talk to is nowhere to be found. Sigh.

Little Rant.

2008-05-06T10:31:00.001-07:00

I really think some people take things for granted. They have too many important things to do that they don't bother keeping in touch. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just emo-ing.

But I think not! Arghhhh!

Jump jam!

2008-05-06T10:28:00.001-07:00

What do normal people do on a working night? They go home to their comfy homes, and they relax. Pondering on the day's events.

What did I do?

We went dirt jumping! Haha. At 10pm, the silence of our secret little junkyard was broken by 5 people with nothing better to do. Daring each other to better the other's actions. After a fun round of dirt jumping, someone turned up with a cooler full of beer. Not the normal donkey piss that we get here. These were IMPORTED! Leffe, and Hoegarden. Cool names eh? Haha. And they tasted SUPER. I'm going to say it again. Not like the normal donkey piss that we get here.

I'm ashamed to say this, but on the 3^rd bottle, I was starting to feel a little woozy. Haha. The beer was good shit!

I'm typing this with some alcohol left running in my blood. I'm feeling really dizzy now. Bed time for me!

I don't wanna go to work tomorrow!

Goodnight to my dearest girlfriend who stayed up and made sure I got home safely. All the best in your exams. Can't wait till you are back! =)

Losing grip.

2008-05-04T07:43:00.001-07:00

Seriously.

I've spent so much money this week. Way more than what I'm going to be earning from work for 2 months. Haha. How'd I do that? Don't ask me. I have to say shopping is therapeutic. Hehe.

What I bought over the past 7 days:

A new pair of glasses
Puma sneakers
A new helmet
2 tees
New tires

I'm starting to lose control of certain things. And I hate that it's happening.

Gonna have to face the music tomorrow for what happened Friday night. I hope that my DIY idea of fixing what I broke will get a nod of approval from my manager. Then all will be well. If not, then I have to bid farewell to that cheque of mine.

This coming Friday will be the Malacca triathlon. I'm nervous yet excited. I'm so not prepared for it. But at the moment, for me, races are for the adrenaline rush. The euphoric feeling when you cross the finish line in one piece. That's what racing is about. At least, that's what people who don't win say to convince themselves. Hahaha.

Things I plan to achieve before the hols are over:

Learn how to play Metallica's 'Nothing else matters'.
I'll add more as I figure them out. Haha.

I wish the day didn't have to end so soon = (

$#%#@

2008-05-02T08:47:00.001-07:00

It's Friday night. I should be out partying. I should be enjoying myself with my friends. Not sitting in front of the computer screen staring blankly. Wondering what on earth I did to deserve a day like this.

It was downhill right from the get go. The alarm failed to go off. Reached work late. Half the workforce of the factory took a leave of absence. In total, there were only about 15 people working today. And of all the days, today was the deadline for 3 big orders to be shipped. I slowly watched as chaos unraveled. Material that we ordered, were not machined properly. Mr. T, managing director, was on the verge of snapping today. 'For every minute that the shipment is late, I lose money'. I had to chip in and help with the production today as so many people were not around. Making car suspension is HARD WORK! And not to mention DIRTY. The stupid Malay pricks were giving me a hard time today as well. Gosh, I really really despise them. The upside to all this was, when you're busy struggling to finish the work, time flies. It flew by just like that. Before I knew it, it was time to go back. And guess what happened then?

Me, being the stupid butter fingers I am, somehow or rather, dropped a RM300 caliper. And the freaking thing broke. MITUTOYO. That's the brand of the caliper. According to my manager, that's the Ferrari, Rolex, of calipers. How screwed up was that? He was nice enough to help me out though. Sat down with me and suggested ways I could settle it without letting anyone know about it. I'll go out tomorrow to see if I can get a replacement for the part that I broke. If I can't find it, I guess I'll have to come up with an ingenious way of fixing it.

I feel left out. Fuck!

Long week.

2008-04-26T09:09:00.001-07:00

Work sucks. It's only been 8 days since I started work. Within that short amount of time, I've learnt what goes into manufacturing suspension. Mind you, its tougher than anyone can imagine. But I've started to feel that going to work is a chore. The first few days were fun. Learnt many new things. I guess I have run out of things to learn already. I have the utmost respect for my parents now. its not easy waking up every morning to go to work. But they still do it. As they have to earn for the family. No longer will I take things for granted.

My perspective on a few things has not changed since I started work though. I still think Malays are stupid worthless people. Alright. That wasn't politically correct. But the Malays that I have met are all a bunch of useless animals. Arrogant pricks who think that they are more superior to others. Come on, you only work in a factory. Earning a measly amount of RM30 a day. I realize that they have no intentions of progressing. They are happy to stay where they are. I know not all Malays are like that, but as the saying goes, it only takes one bad apple to spoil the bunch.

To give you an idea of how bad it is, let me tell you about the factory. It has a workforce of close to 25 people. Not many. Majority of the workers are Malays. The remaining are foreign workers from Myanmar. The Myanmar workers are only paid RM23 a day. That is about rm600 a month. I talked to my manager about it. Apparently, from what he told me, the amount the pay the Myanmar workers, is more than what the government guidelines advice them to give. An average worker gets only around rm20 a day. I seriously pity them but there is nothing I can do. Back to the Malays, the Myanmar workers are also part of the factory workforce. But they harass the Myanmar workers. Make fun of them. Beat them up. Even when one of them lost a finger, he wasn't shown an ounce of compassion. They just laughed at him. People like them taint the country's image.

Other highlights of the week were when I hammered a punch into my finger. I have never seen so much blood oozing out of me before. Sure was one heck of a wakeup call. Factory work is dangerous. Haha. As if I didn't know that before I started.

Had a wonderful time on Thursday night. Went out with someone that I haven't kept in touch with for over a year. And it was really really good. But then, the next day, it was like a repeat of the past. I heard some things that some people said. Mind you, they weren't true. It baffles me why people have to lie and make up stories like that. I never learn. I told myself I wouldn't put myself in situations like that anymore. Ah well, cest la vie. You can't control the tongues of others. Just have to take it in my stride I guess. Sigh. I've come to a realization as well. I may not be over it yet. That sure sucks. Another long boring day tomorrow.

Thank god it’s Friday!

2008-04-18T05:45:00.001-07:00

I never felt relief like this before. Not even when classes are ongoing and Friday signals the arrival of the beloved weekends. Where one gets to chill and relax and not worry about work!

Stayed back for a short while just now to help rush an order that is due to be sent tomorrow. Hot bits have some serious clients. The order that we were rushing was for some race team in Japan. They order shocks from us every week. For cars that range from AE86's to Porsches! When I ask you what German performance tuning companies you know, I am sure KLEEMAN comes to mind. The modify Mercedes cars. Tuning and tweaking and squeezing every ounce of performance out of the car. Guess who makes exhaust bits for them? Hot bits. Guess who works hand in hand with Proton for the development of the R3 cars? Hot bits.

Very very impressive.

Today I got my first dose of engineering work. the past few days were passed doing QC for suspension dampers. Very boring! What engineering work you may ask. My boss, a feared man in the office, approached me. Told me he wanted to teach me some stuff, so we sat down and he explained what he was in the midst of designing and asked me to help him out. I was scared, yet excited at the same time as I have heard nothing but bad things about him. It's too early to judge him yet but I think me and him will get along.

After a lengthy discussion on the dimensions of the parts, I had to draw them out in AutoCAD. The last time I touched AutoCAD was 2 long years ago. i could only remember the most basic commands. Many others have long been forgotten. It took me so long to produce all of 4 drawings. I can't say I did it all on my own. My colleague, an AutoCAD guru, helped out so much. But he told me that was the one and only time. I should go back and brush up over the weekend. Haha. At least I had work to do today. Haha. All in all it was a good day. Tiring, but good.

Off to enjoy the weekend,

Damn you Murphy!

2008-04-17T05:59:00.001-07:00

"Freeze! Put your hands behind your head and lie down on the floor! Now!!".

It was pure mayhem. Like a scene from a Bourne Ultimatum movie, masked Singapore crack commandos came out of the woodworks, surrounding Joshie, JasonTan and me with their laser sights trained at our XC helmets.

Ferry passengers at the Changi Point ferry terminal ran helter skelter.

Joshie had unwittingly triggered a national Red Alert in Singapore. Coming from the jungles of Malaysia, the Fakawi Tribe never leave home without their beloved parangs/machettes. And being a good but naive jungle tribesman, he carried his parang even in his sleep.He caused quite a scare when his Camelbak and parang slowly rolled through the x-ray scanning machine at the ferry terminal.

"Is that a knife?!" the guy behind the x-ray machine shouted as he sprang up from his stool.

"Err. Not really. It's a tribal stabbing cum hacking weapon. Duhh...." Joshie corrected him matter-of-factly.

The policeman behind the x-ray must have pressed some hidden button under his desk to summon for back-up.. and seconds later we were pounced upon by masked men.

3 hours before the crackdown, the 3 of us were happily shredding the newly built (and yet to be commisioned) mountainbike trails in Pulau Ubin. Built from scratch with input from the DirTraction dudes, SIngapore now boasts a world-class web of mountainbiking trails, with proper signages and maps at every turn.

In flat and hill-less Singapore, where the highest hill is as tall as a 2 storey building, the Pulau Ubin trail was a real eye opener. We hammered through tight and flowy secondary jungle singletrack with plenty of technical trail obstacles and switchbacks to keep the rider wanting more.

Jason Tan, fresh out of a 100km Bike Asia 100 Mountainbike Race the day before, played the tour guide and Joshie and I happily followed him around the trail like obedient students.

Joshie and I were supposed to race in Singapore's first ever marathon (100km) mountainbike race- the Bike Asia 100 Race but we ended up becoming Singapore's first ever marathon racing team to get a DNS (Did Not Start) disqualification...Why? Read on...

Like a National Lampoon movie, our road trip to Singapore this time was hit with a string of bad luck.

After attending the 7pm pre-race briefing at the Tampines Mountainbike Park 3 days earlier, our Fakawimobile laden with all our bike and racing gear decided to take a piss at all the clean and shiny Singaporean cars by springing a huge leak in one of its fuel hoses... on the night before the race.

After being towed to the repairshop in the middle of the night, we unloaded the bikes and gear and stuffed everything into the back of a Comfort Cab, and headed back to our hotel..totally exhausted but still optimistic that we will race with Tinker Juarez on the Bike Asia Race the next morning...

When unloading the bikes and gear at the hotel we realized that we left the our 20mm front wheel skewers in the Fakawimobile....
So much for racing...We'll do Pulau Ubin instead!

As I stood at the ferry terminal watching Joshie getting handcuffed and blindfolded by the security forces, all I could think of was whether the Singaporean police cars came with Thule bike racks because you can haul a biker downtown but how are you going to pack his Banshee Rune in the puny police sedan?

-Ongawi

God grant me the serenity.

2008-04-07T11:15:00.001-07:00

To accept the things I cannot change. To be able to be civil to people that I hate. To plaster on a smile for a day.

Arghhhhhhhh. I fucking hate the dude. And I have to see him in Singapore during the race. Thank god we are not in the same team. I would gouge my eyes out and eat them just so I don't have to see his fucking face. I fucking hate him. And her as well. Fucking hate them. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

FYI, I'm over whatever that has happened in the past. I just fucking hate them. I can't like everyone can I?

I just needed to get that off my chest before I went to bed. I don't want to go to bed angry. But I still am. What do I do?

Bar Club.

2008-04-06T23:42:00.001-07:00

Green apple vodka. Loud music. Hot girls in even hotter clothes (read: skimpy). Great company. The euphoric feeling you get when you down lots of liquor in one go. I guess that pretty much sums up the great Saturday evening that we had. What a way to usher in a 3 month holidays. We stayed out till 6 and talked loads of crap. I enjoyed myself thoroughly!

Mind you, it is the FIRST time I've gone clubbing and I never thought I would enjoy it this much. My idea of a good evening would be good dinner, good conversation. At least it was. Haha. Not anymore. No doubt it burnt a hole in my pocket. But hey, entertainment doesn't come cheap does it. I even got to dance with some hot girl I didn't know. New things every day, remember? Haha.

Now that the hols are here, I've been lazing around a lot. A well deserved break after the long 2 week exams that I have. Will be heading down to Singapore this Friday too so that is going to be a blast. Just hope I don't kill myself during the race. Cant say I have been training my ass off, and I'm not in very good shape now. but a race is done for fun isn't it? Not to win. That's how people who don't win convince themselves I suppose. Haha.

Back to being a waste,

Oh and before I forget, I was in the papers today. FINALLY! It's been almost a year since I shot that advertisement. I was beginning to think that it was never gonna show. Haha. No regrets even if it didn't. I did make rm500 for 3 hours of work. Haha.

The end is near.

2008-04-04T09:36:00.001-07:00

For my final examinations, that is. Last paper begins at 9AM in the morning. I so can't wait for this to be over. The holidays are beckoning. 3 long months of not going to classes! It seriously sucks to have your exams end 3 days after all your peers have finished theirs. While everyone is out enjoying themselves, I am stuck in my room studying. If I can even call it studying. Haha. In a sense, it's like delayed gratification. The longer you wait for something, in this case, the holidays, the more pleasurable the reward is. I sure hope so!

Off to bed now,

That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

2008-03-28T08:56:00.001-07:00

Remember my earlier post about me thinking I was prepared and all? So wrong. So so wrong. Couldn't get any wronger. If there even is such a word. Haha. I just hope that the examiner will give me marks for method even though I got some of the values wrong. Haha.

Just got back from a super long dinner. It was a friend's birthday and I think it was a total waste of time. We sat around doing nothing for an hour before we entered the darn restaurant. And when we were ordering, we found out that just because we were all given tables in the air conditioned floor of the restaurant, we got charged a premium even though the waitress blatantly said that we wouldn't. The food sucked. The prices sucked even more.

Somehow or rather, after dinner, I was feeling kinda cranky. Don't ask me why. Maybe it was because I was stuffed and feeling really uncomfortable. I snapped at T who seemed to be extra annoying today. Gave him a light slap on the face as well. Thank god I didn't get beat up by him after that because he is heck of a lot stronger than I am.

Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's hot. The stupid yearning feeling that I had before is now back. Sheesh. I hate feeling like this. I'm off to go out for a walk. Need to calm the nerves.

Drifting apart.

2008-03-27T06:47:00.001-07:00

That was the title of the article I just read in The Star about how friendships go down the drain.

"Truth is, it probably wasn't what you had in common that made you close - it was that you were spending so much time together" – excerpt from the article

That explains a lot! Haha.

Its 12 hours to go before 9am. That's what time my paper begins. Somehow or rather, I am feeling kinda calm right now. It's as though I am, dare I say it? PREPARED! Haha. I so hope that I am and I am not just being delusional or super lazy. Time will tell. In exactly 15 hours from now I'll find out. Hope I do alright.

I don't mean to sound racist or anything, but Indians scare the shit out of me. I will not bother to elaborate on that though. I fear I might touch a nerve if I do. Ah well, it was good fun to score a goal and shut the dude up anyways. Haha.

Dinner time,

P/s: where art thou? – You know who you are. Haha.

Starry starry night.

2008-03-26T06:33:00.001-07:00

The stars were shining brightly overhead. But dark clouds loomed in the distance. Threatening to ruin the quietness of the night. There I was, sitting on the bench in the middle of a field at 4 in the morning.

Now, what would be wrong with this picture? Haha. I was there sitting with N. Who, by the way, happens to be a guy. Gosh. Where is the female species when you need them?

It really is refreshing to take a walk in the wee hours of the morning. I used to do that last time, till someone mistook me for a ghost. It was funny, and kinda scary at the same time so ever since then, I never dared to venture out late at night on my own. Haha.

Plans were made for breakfast. But then again, plans are made to be broken. We were being overly ambitious when we said we would wake up for breakfast at 10 when we only went to bed at 5. It sounded doable. How wrong we were. Haha.

By my calculations, in less than 48 hours, I will be sitting for my very first paper. I'm actually looking forward to it. The sooner it begins, the sooner it will end. Haha. Always look on the bright side, eh?

Susah susah dahulu, senang senang kemudian.

2008-03-25T03:14:00.001-07:00

Wise words from a wise fatty. Haha. the day has been super unproductive. I always feel the laziest whenever the exam I am sitting for matters the most. Its hardwired in me. I need to change! Haha.

Anyways, I am putting this up here for all to see so you all can say I am a useless prick if I don't do what I say I am going to do.

I am going to study right now. And study I will till my exams are over.

Wish me luck.

Talk to you later?

2008-03-24T09:10:00.001-07:00

Pah! The 4 words I hate to hear the most. Particularly so when a certain someone says it. Why bother saying it in the first place when it's not going to happen? The next time you say it, I'm going to scoff right back at you. Haha. We'll see how that works out for me.

Something happened today that will most probably change my life over the next few weeks. My speakers blew up. Not blew up per se. I have no idea what happened but after I came home, I smelt something burning. And my speakers were dead. Arghhh! What am I going to do in my free time now? How am I going to watch any of my favorite TV series? How am I going to listen to music during my trips to the loo? How? =(

On a whole other note, today's first date
was fun! =p

Looking forward to more of it! Wakalaka.

Pop goes the knee.

2008-03-23T09:14:00.001-07:00

POP! That was the sound my knee made when I tried to kick the ball during futsal. Chief was right. Futsal is the game of the devil. People get injured left right centre. Haha. Knee is feeling better today. No more futsal or football till after the race!

The weekend finally comes to an end. I've been dreading this moment for so long. The finals are here! Gosh. The 4 months of this semester just flew by like that.

I spent most of the day dreaming about the holidays. I so can't wait for them. Who can anyways? Haha.

I think the high point of the weekend was watching Ferrari and Manchester United win in their respective sports. It's amazing how strangers can become friends for the duration of a match, or a race, just because they all support the same people. It never ceases to amaze me. Haha.

Oh and I forgot, our usual family dinner. I think the last time the whole family sat down at the table for a home cooked meal was 3 months ago. Before that little brat I call my princess went off to do her national service training. It was good fun. Topic over dinner was getting a new car for the family. This would result in a chain effect of me getting a newer ride. All I can do now is just cross my fingers and hope me parents buy a new car. Haha.

I miss TSY! =(

Wednesday night blues.

2008-03-19T10:18:00.001-07:00

Well, after a lengthy discussion my favorite lecturer, I have decided to go with Speedworks. I much rather not earn much but do something I am interested in, than being well paid and not doing something I want. That's one problem solved. Many many more to go.

It's funny how you feel the loneliest at a time when you are surrounded by lots of people. Felt like shit the entire night. Maybe its because I have a report due Friday that I have not yet started on (note to self: STOP FUCKING PROCRASTINATING). Maybe it's because of the lack of sleep. I can't begin to describe how tired I feel. And with me having to wake up at 5 in the morning for a trip to Malacca, it's not making things any easier. I know I should be hyped up about the trip. It's a tradition for us to go for an epic ride whenever Mun is back in town for the holidays. But with the exams breathing down my neck, and with me not being the least bit prepared, it's all getting me really stressed out.

What do I do when I am feeling like crap? I usually pick up the phone and call someone. But as of late, that someone has been really hard to get a hold off. Sigh. I just wish I had someone to talk to now.

Dilemma.

2008-03-18T08:19:00.001-07:00

The good kind. If there even is such a thing. Haha. I got another offer today from a consulting company. They have worked on notable projects such as Sepang F1 circuit, and the LRT system. The problem is, I sorta agreed to the other company already. But nothing has been put to paper yet so I guess I could still wiggle my way out of it. What do I do?

Anyways, the last of the dreaded tests are over. Haha. now it's a week and a half of study break then it's the finals! Gosh. Time really flies when you are not paying attention. Haha. Before I know it, I would have graduated. But it all still seems so far away!

The next 2 days will be wasted away. I deserve a break after the many tests that I went through.

Modeling test today was not too bad. Why is that, some may ask. Haha. The power of technology. Someone took a photo of the test paper and Bluetooth-ed it out to us in the next room. Haha. The one hour that we had before the test was spent solving the question. Not the way to go if I plan on passing my exams but you do what you have to do in circumstances like this. Where you don't know anything before an exam. Haha.

I'm of to be a waste.

Some people are just some people.

2008-03-14T03:31:00.001-07:00

That's a quote from Saggy. Haha. No more shall I let it annoy me. A leopard can't change its spots can it? Haha.

There's nothing like driving along an empty stretch of freeway, with soft music playing in the background. The calmness of the moment allows one to think. And think I did.

Had a good chat with Mr. S during the day about what I wanted to do in the future. What he said made a lot of sense. Just work with Speedworks first. No point wanting to go to a big company to intern at when I don't have to. Just get my hands dirty doing what I think I will enjoy. When I actually need to intern, then pull some strings to get what I want. Haha. The more I hear about people's careers as engineers, the more excited I am for choosing this path.

But then when I found out what I got for the stupid thermodynamics test, it was a knock back to reality. Another single digit. I highly doubt I will be able to get through the subject this sem with another single digit result during my test. Mr. E said that he would try to help us. But first, we needed to help ourselves. Whatever that meant. Lots of catching up to do. Help!

Speedworks!

2008-03-13T09:11:00.001-07:00

That's the company I am going to be interning for. Gave them a follow up call today and they said I am hired! Haha. They are basically a car suspension tuning workshop, so I'll be a mechanic for 3 months. And I like it! I just hope that when we discuss monetary terms, both parties will be able to come to an agreement that is reasonable. In short, I want as much money as possible. Haha.

I'm keeping my hopes up that someone else will come up to me with a better offer. I know beggars can't be choosers. And even if a bigger company offers a place for me, will it be what I want to do? It's hard to excel in something that you don't like isn't it?

Just finished an episode of OTH. What can I say; I need my weekly dose of drama. Life without drama would be, boring to say the least.

Excerpt from today's episode,

'Blessed are those whose hearts can bend, they shall never be broken'

"But I wonder. If there is no breaking, there is no healing. And if there is no healing, there is no learning. And if there is no learning, there is no struggle. The struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?"-OTH

Interesting ain't it?

Anyways, I found a partner today to do this race down in Singapore and I am really excited for it. The problem is, before that, I have the finals that I have to sit for. Ah well, delayed gratification makes you a better person doesn't it? Haha.

Been having bouts of diahoarrea today. Crap. Must have ate something wrong yesterday. Sure sucks to have your ass leaking. Haha.

No electricity? Pah!

2008-03-11T05:52:00.001-07:00

Last night, I got a taste of what it was like to live without electricity. Boy it was bad. The electricity went out at 8. So after dinner, and a call to TNB, we headed home to wait for the cavalry to come and fix the problem we had. When they arrived, our hopes were dashed. They said they couldn't do anything. We needed to call someone else. Arghh!

So what did we do? We made the most of the cool evening night and played a round of futsal in the compound. The last time we did something like that was when we just moved in and didn't have the internet. So we did it to entertain ourselves. And yesterday was no different. No computer. No lights. No fan. It was bad!

After the futsal, it was a round of mindless bantering under the starry sky. All this would sound really good if not for the fact that our exams are just round the corner and I have a test tomorrow. Haha. But we made the most of it and tried to enjoy the little break that we had. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Haha. Didn't manage to sleep till 8 in the morning. The mosquitoes relentlessly attacked every living being in the house. Off all the days for it not to rain at night, it had to be yesterday. Haha. Now that the power is back, I really don't want it to go again. I really cannot survive without the electricity!

Ayo technology!

Dawn of a new era.

2008-03-09T10:26:00.001-07:00

It's official. The opposition has won 5 states out of 12. And they have denied the ruling party a 2/3 majority in yesterday's elections. Whoopee!

The worries about a repeat of the racial riots on the 13^th of May 1969 were just that, worries. Nothing major happened today. But rumors are flying around about the possibilities of riots occurring tomorrow. I think that we as Malaysians have learnt from the past. And I doubt anyone would want something like that to happen again. Let's hope tomorrow is as peaceful as it was today I guess. Haha.

Our Malacca trip was cancelled. But we made up for it by going for a good ride in Kemensah. The 3 of us. Just like the good old days. It was really good fun. And the scrumptious dinner after that was excellent, Even though it burnt a hole in our wallets. Haha. I'm sure one day, we'll look back and have a good laugh at all the fun stuff we did.

Anyways, off to bed. Long day tomorrow. I hate Mondays!

Change?

2008-03-08T08:37:00.000-08:00

The peace of the country hangs in the balance. The last time that the opposition won so many seats, riots broke out all over the country.

Was out earlier during dinner, and the roads were unusually quiet. The shop that we went to is usually a hive of activity. Tonight, there were barely enough people to fill the tables on the inside. Roads were empty. Few people were seen walking around.

Guess everyone is being cautious. Better safe than sorry no?

Its quite exciting watching the results unfold one by one. At this moment, the Opposition coalition has won 21 parliamentary seats and 50 state seats. Not an easy feat if you look back at what happened in the last election. But many people say that the results were not totally unexpected. The recent hoo haa about the government corruption. The hindraf issue. Rigged election. Canceling the use of indelible ink at the eleventh hour. All of these events created unrest with the countries citizens and many want change.

Will we get what we want?

I wanna vote too! Haha.

shit happens.

2008-03-07T05:17:00.000-08:00

What do you get when 2 idiots without licenses decide to ride a motorcycle?

A MOTHERFUCKING DENT IN MY CAR!

And those little pricks still had the nerve to ask me for money to fix their DAD’s bike. What sort of FUCKING parenting is that? Letting your kids, one of them no taller than my chest (the other one was a slightly taller than me), ride on your stupid motorbike without a license. Screw you. You should consider your little useless selves lucky because you are not dead yet. The saying, ‘an empty vessel makes the loudest noise’ rang true today. 2 fools with shit for brains. Making a big fuss in the middle of the road about their APA’s bike.

But could they muster a word when I asked for their licenses? Oh no. They shut up then. And they shut up good. Started apologizing and all. Saying forget the money. Lets just settle it.

NOW YOU WANNA FUCKING SETTLE IT? WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT THAT DENT IN MY CAR? WHAT ABOUT THE MISSING HUBCAP THAT CAN NO LONGER BE REPLACED? WHAT ABOUT GIVING ME HEART ATTACK WHEN I SAW YOU 2 USELESS FOOLS FLYING THROUGH THE AIR IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR?

IF A SIMPLE SORRY WAS ENOUGH, WOULD THERE BE A NEED FOR THE FREAKING POLICE STATION?

Enough of my rant. To be honest, I was shit scared when they ran into me. ‘Oh my god. I killed someone’. That was the first thought that ran through my head. And with them being black beans and all, I was lucky no one stopped to beat me up.

On the way home, I thought, oh well, there goes the worst of it. Guess what happened next? I got stuck in a jam for a whole freaking hour. I moved all of 100 meters in that time.

I guess someone up there thought it wasn’t enough. During my eye check up with the optometrist, she told me I had some eye injury, I had to stop wearing my contacts for a whole week while applying some antibiotic eye drops. If that doesn’t cure it, no more contacts for me. Isn’t that wonderful?!?!

Arghhhhhh!

Its 10 o clock and I am in no mood to go anywhere. I’m just going to go to bed and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Sigh.